A writer on the Frisky recently posed the question, what happens if you’re caught with your spanx on during a surprise make-out session, and I immediately started chuckling as it’s certainly a conversation my friends and I have had before. Unfortunately, the article only gave one very brief suggestion of what to do – basically fess up – but my friends and I have certainly come up with funnier ways of getting around it. Wanna know – here it go. Below you’ll see some paraphrased statements about our unfortunate mishaps with experiences such as this (hey, I can’t be expected to remember full statements verbatim, but you’ll get the gist of the stories either way lol). *names are not mentioned so as to protect the guilty parties, and yes that does include me lol*
- One time I had on one of those shapers that covers almost your whole body. Literally it was like wearing a body suit under your clothing, which was fine, except that I tried this contraption before Spanx was as commonly known as it is now, and I found myself in the dorm room of a guy that I’d gone on a few dates with so far – but we were by no means boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Anyway, at some point we went from joking around and talking to kissing and me climbing on top of him – mind you with a skirt on. Which still would have been fine, except that he wanted to make use of the usefulness of the skirt – and I had to sorely explain to him that he need not try to put his hands or penis anywhere up under that skirt — since I was on my cycle. Hey, it beat saying “sooooo I have this thing on that makes me look smaller than I really am and I don’t really want to try and squeeze that off right now. thanks.”
- I’ve had plenty of experiences when I had to figure out how to maneuver myself out of that thing without him noticing. One time I drunkenly told the guy I’d be right back because I was going to the bathroom to make myself more comfortable. I ran to the bathroom, kicked that thing off and stuffed it in my purse. When I came back out with seemingly nothing different on – he was so confused, but he didn’t care.
- The craziest time was with this guy at a party. He caught me so off guard with his roaming hands, I couldn’t even think straight to come up with something good to say. Of course he noticed there was this extra fabric underneath my clothes. The best I could get out was that it was something like panty hose – and for some reason, he bought it. And if he didn’t, it didn’t matter.
- This isn’t really about a shaper snafoo, but one time I got caught up with this extra crazy bra I’d recently purchased from Ashley Stewart. This thing was so ginormous and so ridiculous – it had two clasp mechanisms in the back, no lie – that I nicknamed it Super Bra in my head. Anyway, I was hanging out with a guy friend one day and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew he was trying to pull up my shirt. Because we were so cool – I immediately started telling him about my nickname for the bra as I stalled for some time. By the time he got to the bra and all its contraptions, we’d already taken to singing Suuuuuper Braaaaaa like Superman that he wasn’t as freaked out when he saw it. He did say, “you weren’t lying” though.
- Honestly, if I think it’s even a slight chance that it’s going down, especially coming from the club or a party – I run to the bathroom and take it off before we even leave. By that time, he probably doesn’t notice or care about the difference between how I looked before I went in and when I came out.
What about you girls? Has this ever happened to you or do you just call it a night if you have on your Spanx? And guys – what would you do/have you done on the other side of the situation?