Surprise, Suprise…

18 11 2009


A writer on the Frisky recently posed the question, what happens if you’re caught with your spanx on during a surprise make-out session, and I immediately started chuckling as it’s certainly a conversation my friends and I have had before. Unfortunately, the article only gave one very brief suggestion of what to do – basically fess up – but my friends and I have certainly come up with funnier ways of getting around it. Wanna know – here it go. Below you’ll see some paraphrased statements about our unfortunate mishaps with experiences such as this (hey, I can’t be expected to remember full statements verbatim, but you’ll get the gist of the stories either way lol). *names are not mentioned so as to protect the guilty parties, and yes that does include me lol*

  • One time I had on one of those shapers that covers almost your whole body. Literally it was like wearing a body suit under your clothing, which was fine, except that I tried this contraption before Spanx was as commonly known as it is now, and I found myself in the dorm room of a guy that I’d gone on a few dates with so far – but we were by no means boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Anyway, at some point we went from joking around and talking to kissing and me climbing on top of him – mind you with a skirt on. Which still would have been fine, except that he wanted to make use of the usefulness of the skirt – and I had to sorely explain to him that he need not try to put his hands or penis anywhere up under that skirt — since I was on my cycle. Hey, it beat saying “sooooo I have this thing on that makes me look smaller than I really am and I don’t really want to try and squeeze that off right now. thanks.”
  • I’ve had plenty of experiences when I had to figure out how to maneuver myself out of that thing without him noticing. One time I drunkenly told the guy I’d be right back because I was going to the bathroom to make myself more comfortable. I ran to the bathroom, kicked that thing off and stuffed it in my purse. When I came back out with seemingly nothing different on – he was so confused, but he didn’t care.
  • The craziest time was with this guy at a party. He caught me so off guard with his roaming hands, I couldn’t even think straight to come up with something good to say. Of course he noticed there was this extra fabric underneath my clothes. The best I could get out was that it was something like panty hose – and for some reason, he bought it. And if he didn’t, it didn’t matter.
  • This isn’t really about a shaper snafoo, but one time I got caught up with this extra crazy bra I’d recently purchased from Ashley Stewart. This thing was so ginormous and so ridiculous – it had two clasp mechanisms in the back, no lie – that I nicknamed it Super Bra in my head. Anyway, I was hanging out with a guy friend one day and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew he was trying to pull up my shirt. Because we were so cool – I immediately started telling him about my nickname for the bra as I stalled for some time. By the time he got to the bra and all its contraptions, we’d already taken to singing Suuuuuper Braaaaaa like Superman that he wasn’t as freaked out when he saw it. He did say, “you weren’t lying” though.
  • Honestly, if I think it’s even a slight chance that it’s going down, especially coming from the club or a party – I run to the bathroom and take it off before we even leave. By that time, he probably doesn’t notice or care about the difference between how I looked before I went in and when I came out.

What about you girls? Has this ever happened to you or do you just call it a night if you have on your Spanx? And guys – what would you do/have you done on the other side of the situation?




4 responses

18 11 2009

I have definitely had more than one of these moments! Thank you for letting me know I am not alone lol! My method – take it off in the bathroom and throw it in the purse. It hasn’t failed me yet.

18 11 2009

Girl – no! You are definitely not alone!!! LOL… I guess the bathroom method is tried and true – but that just seems so obvious to me! Isn’t the guy thinking to himself, what the heck is this fool going to the bathroom for? lol

20 11 2009
Cunty Black Woman

Oh god, this is something I dread. I never used to wear Spanx, ’cause I didn’t need to, but now they’re definitely necessary! Trends these days practically demand them. Hello? I will not rock a sheath dress without them.

This reminds me of that scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary (my favorite movie ever– it’s like Prozac) where Bridget’s debating whether to go with “scary stomach holding in panties– very popular with grannies the world over” or be caught in flagrante in genuinely tiny knickers. And of course Daniel discovers them, and says “Fuck me, these are absolutely enormous panties! No, no, don’t apologize. I like them. I’m wearing something quite similar myself.”

I would love to have that reaction if I was ever caught in my Spanx. Of course, a romp with Hugh Grant wouldn’t hurt either … lol!

20 11 2009

LOL – this is what I’m saying. Even if you love your body naked (which thankfully I do), the outfits we wear sometimes simply require the addition of Spanx underneath. IN fact, I think any clothing that needs the application of said undergarment should come with a tag that says so – since some of our lovely friends haven’t learned that you can’t wear just a thong with everything. BUT what do you do when the get to the deed? It has just got to be one of the most embarrassing experiences a woman can go through – you’re thinking to yourself, “Oh no, what do I do? How can I take this thing off without him knowing it was there in the first place?” LOL

Bridget got lucky – as did the girl in my post who wore the Super Bra… I’m not so sure every guy would have the same reaction. Which is why I try to at all costs plan my rss feeds at least to the point that if I think I may get some that night, I wear something that doesn’t require the Spanx. Sometimes – you just get surprised, however. 🙂

PS. I absolutely adorrrrrrrre this movie!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: