Are Condoms the new Toothrush?

15 10 2009

condom vs   toothbrush

For years now, women have been plagued with the stereotype of wanting to leave their toothbrush at the man’s house with whom they are rss feeding, almost in an effort to “inadvertently” mark their territory. You know the deal – the woman comes over, leaves, and when the man goes to his bathroom, he finds a new pink member to the family. Now, he can do a couple things at this point – call her on her ish and tell her to come get it, throw it away, or leave it there. If he leaves it there, any other woman that comes over will inevitably wonder who the extra pink toothbrush is for and the toothbrush culprit may take that as a sign to leave more stuff at his place, but if he calls her on it, she may get mad and withhold sex for awhile.

It’s the perfect example of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I mean, really – what is the guy to do???

Anyway, like I said, for years this has just been believed as something that women only do, but once again, your girl is calling BS. Not only do men have a similar way of marking their territory, but it’s even more conniving than the toothbrush.

It’s the condom(s).

Have you ever been put in a situation where the guy left his condoms at your place? Let me tell you, it puts you in that same toothbrush conundrum. You see, there are a few inherent assumptions that come with leaving your condoms at someone’s house: 1) you assume that you will be back to use them again, 2) you assume that someone else will not be there in between the time you left them and the time you come back, and 3) you assume that the person whose house you left it at will not use your condoms with someone else. Condoms3

All of those are risky assumptions, to say the least, but imagine if you are the girl. Now, to set a couple things straight – the only time this is a conundrum is if you and the guy have not yet established that you are in a committed relationship. Same goes for the toothbrush. If you are in a committed and exclusive relationship, neither one is that big of a deal, I suppose. However, if you are not – or you havent established that you are, the act of leaving either your condoms or your toothbrush at the other person’s place is almost like an infringement upon their freedom rights. You have basically said to the person – “I know we havent committed to each other, but I KNOW that you aren’t eff-ing with anyone else, so I’m just going to leave my stuff here.”

Really?! Well anyone who knows me (or knows either the Liberian or Stalker Jason who have been getting their calls unreturned for the past 2 weeks), knows that I dont appreciate being forced into anything. You’re not going to force me to answer the phone for you – and you know what, you’re not going to force me into an uncomfortable position by leaving your stuff at my place – hypothetically speaking, of course.

And I’m not alone. So don’t worry – this isnt a rant from me. It’s an observation – in fact, you could argue that I really havent had this happen to me recently at all. Sure someone did leave his condoms at my place, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt of it being an accident(since he hasnt been back since then lol), but I know women who have purposely been put into the situation – so I’m writing this for them. One of my friends had a guy leave his condoms at her place (even though they made it perfectly clear they weren’t exclusive) and got mad when he came back and the number was smaller. LOL guess what buddy – possession is 3/4 of the law or something like that. Another friend had a guy leave his condoms and when she asked him if it was an accident, he replied – “does it matter – I mean, what are you eff-ing the whole city or something?” Really sir?! Are we Colorful Used Toothbrushesthrowing stones while in glass houses???

And thats the thing about the condoms that makes them worse than the toothbrush. The toothbrush could maybe be your little sister’s toothbrush or your mom’s or whatever – but the condoms – a man knows when he’s using another man’s condoms. It’s far more territorial of a mark than the toothbrush – I mean, it’s basically the equivalent of pissing on trees. No?

What do you think, dear readers? Is my theory accurate or are me and my friends extra sensitive about this for no reason? And what’s something else that you think could be the equivalent to leaving your toothbrush at someone’s place?




4 responses

15 10 2009

Couple things:

Possession is 9/10 of the law, LMAO!

I’m pretty sure I’m one of the aforementioned friends but I won’t say which one, lol. But I have been put into this situation and it is a pretty sneaky thing to do. Especially because I’m not the type of girl who goes around leaving toothbrushes at people’s houses. But, it’s true – if you guys haven’t established yourselves as in a serious, committed couple then 1) don’t leave your condoms at my place or 2) don’t get mad if somebody else is using them. And let’s be real, unless you’re Mr. Sunday (who lives a Magnum lifestyle), somebody else is using them (probably Mr. Sunday!).

The moral? Establish something with the girl. Don’t leave your condoms lying around. Or, warrant the use of a Magnum – at least this way it’s most likely that anybody else said girl is sleeping with won’t be able to FIT your stash. Oh – but don’t lie to yourself. If you don’t NEED a Magnum and you brought them, you should feel confident that your girl is messing with somebody who does.

Oh and for the record, guys leave toothbrushes too. Dummies. I clean my shoes with them (what?!?!?!?)

Oh – and basketball shorts fall in that category. I had an RSS ask me for a pair and then when I handed them over he demanded to know where they came from. Dummy.

15 10 2009

LOL I knew it was something like that – close enough LMAO!

LOL – exactly. It’s uncomfortable and totally unfair!

LMAO @ I clean my shoes with them. I did have one guy leave a toothbrush. I was “nice” and just threw it away lol

and thanks for the addition – I’m going to say clothes in general fall into that category. I have a few shirts and cashmere sweaters in my possession that one should probably just assume have been worn by someone else LOL

15 10 2009

Ummm I’m definitely going to assume that someone else wore a MEN’S CASHMERE SWEATER! What woman just has that lying around. Although – if it’s a certain brown hooded cashmere sweater that I’m thinking of, you should go ahead and let me get that since I’m the reason that it’s at your house, lol.

And no people, it’s not nearly as scandalous it sounds.

15 10 2009

LMAO! nope, not scandalous at all actually LOL – but while it is PARTIALLY your fault, it’s also the owner’s fault since I attempted to give it back to him and he still left it here… that’s his fault.

AND since you corrected me earlier, now that we know possession is 9/10 of the law, I’m saying that hooded cashmere sweater is mine lol… sorry! 🙂

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