The Plan B

8 10 2009

One day Lady Raye and I were talking about men, as we so often do, and she mentioned to me a theory of hers – all men have a plan B.

After some deliberation, I thought, hmmmm well, that may just be true. I’ve never believed that any man is truly single when you meet him (he may not be dating someone, but there’s a body there in some capacity), so this isn’t that far of a stretch of my original belief. Her belief stretched further than that however, and said othat even once they start dating someone, all men know someone in their lives who – if something bad were to happen with plan A – Plan B would be there.

At first I thought, “Wow – pretty cynical”, right? But then I thought about it more… Well, really don’t we all kind of have plan B’s? Okay, well maybe not always, but usually we all know someone who isn’t our first choice in a mate, but we keep them around because they’ll do for now or whenever a pinch comes. Some might even call this person, the stand-in perhaps. lol

From this conversation, two things came to mind: 1. If all men have Plan B’s… isn’t it only fair for all women to have Plan B’s as well? 2. If we then substitute teacherall presumably have this person at least once in our lives – would you be okay with being this person?

Let’s start with Question 1 first: now some would argue (incorrectly I might add, but that’s just my opinion) that women are typically more emotional beings than men. This argument has been used as justification for everything from men cheating to men playing the field and not settling down with one woman. So I can only assume that the people who used it for those arguments would also say that a woman would not be able to handle having a Plan B because she would then become emotionally connected to both Plan A and Plan B, thus alleviating the purpose of Plan B in the first place. Au contraire my fair friends. Women have just as much of a right as men to have a Plan B in their lives – just as every student deserves the right to have a substitute teacher when their regular teacher is absent.  This has nothing to do with emotion – it’s pure common decency and fairness. Equal opportunity for all, I say.

BUT – that brings the question of #2: Who is going to be willing to be Plan B knowingly? Everyone raise their hands if you would volunteer to be anyone’s Plan B!!!

…………….. Chances are, you probably said hell to the nah bobby just now… But if we’re honest, chances are just as likely that we have been sprinklessomeone’s Plan B at some point in time. It’s like the cupcake and the sprinkles. (yes, I’m using the sprinkles analogy again lol) Most people want to be the cupcake… it’s the main ingredient. It’s the thing that you go for. The icing is great but it only serves to enhance the taste of the cupcake – and the sprinkles, well the sprinkles are only there to provide a different flavoring to the taste buds of the person eating the cupcake. You like the sprinkles, they’re great fun when added to the mix… but no one’s going to choose the sprinkles over the cupcake. Therein lies the dilemma of the Plan B… everyone wants the sprinkles, but no one wants to BE the sprinkles… because everyone knows the sprinkles don’t get chosen on their own.

So how do we remedy that, fine readers of CVS? How do we get everyone to participate in the Plan B plan if no one wants to be a Plan B? Hmmmm, this is not as simple as the 2015 CLC plan… And if we’re not able to get to a point where women can just as freely have Plan B’s in their lives, isnt it time for us to start demanding that men don’t as well? Thoughts?

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3 responses

8 10 2009
Boss Brown

You can demand all you want, but they are still going to have a plan B. The best we can do is ask the right questions, notice the red flags, and take heed to his actions to determine whether or not we are plan b. Then WE have to make the decision if we will accept it or not.

To justify my prior plan b roles, I am only a plan b if my plan b is a plan b to me…….does that make sense? I’m only the sprinkles, if the other person are spirnkles for me…..now that doesn’t mean things don’t become complicated, but it’s all about having a honest, realistic perspective. Unfortunately my perspective is screwy as hell sometimes LMAO!

8 10 2009
dbaham

touche’ my nucca, touche’ — however, realistically most Plan B’s have the tendency to not be reciprocal. That’s why it’s hard to get anyone to willingly be the sprinkles. Because as we discussed, Boss Brown aka Lady Raye (lol)… even if you don’t want to be the cupcake, most people still don’t want to be the oh so expendable sprinkles.

At least I dont.

13 06 2010
Tick Tock, Tick Tock « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] And if you know me, then you know that means I instinctively retreat. One of my friends so eloquently pointed out to me the other day that I am “a silent person when it comes to dealing with pain.” Another friend once called me Brie from Desperate Housewives (and if you’re reading this – yes, that still hurts lol). This November, however, has been particularly frustrating because of the post I was starting to write. Like I said, I’ve never been that girl who wants to be in a relationship. It just usually happens. I’m either in one or I’m not – and usually, even if I’m not, I’m not alone. […]

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