Another One Bites the Dust…

23 09 2009
First there was the Jeepers Creepers, who had the scary jacked up teeth and called incessantly – even after it was clear things were not going to go anywhere. Then there was the Mad Texter, who decided that our only form of communication could come through the form of a text message. Then came the Liberian – who wanted us to get married and have kids after one bus ride to Philly from DC, the Juvie*, and now I have someone new to add the unfortunate list, soon to be titled, “Reasons women should not give their numbers out to strangers.”

Let me paint the picture for you (or as my fellow New Orleanians would say – pictcha this) – on my way home from a very lovely wedding woman paintingceremony this Saturday, I was approached by a seemingly nice and nice looking young man on the metro. Now granted, his initial approach was a little on the lame side, buuuut I gave him points for not hitting me with a “say booo” or a “girl, I would have you bent over with nothing but a thong and heels” comment  (yes, I’ve been told that before… sigh).  Anyway, we chatted it up for the next ten minutes, he asked for my phone number because he wanted to take me out sometime soon. Great, I thought… a guy who actually wants to go on a date! This apparently is rarity these days, so I was a little excited – I’ll admit.

And then it all came crashing down. I should’ve known something when I found out that he shared the same first name as one scary fella who likes to chase his victims in horror movies until he kills them with an ax. Alas, I did not take heed. Instead, I allowed myself to be held captive to one of the most excruciatingly horrid conversations I’ve ever been a part of – think dragging nails on a chalkboard meets jabbing a rusty knife in your hand over and over meets having to kiss Flava Flav or Whoopi Goldberg. Yes, it was worst than that… this man – oh this man – told me within 5 minutes of our FIRST conversation post the Metro, that he had already told a co-worker of his that I could be the one. 5 minutes.

I’ll let that sink in for a second.

Yeah – I said, 5 minutes.

In the next 25 minutes, he proceeded to ask me to go to church with him, tell me how he was looking for someone to marry (like now) and read me his E-match profile as if it would flow in natural conversation**. And in between those moments were the awkward, silent – I have nothing to say to you right now moments. It was truly the worst. So much so, that when I got off the phone with him (which came after I had no way to respond to him telling me that I would probably want to join his church to be with him, even though I’d already said to him how much I actually like the church that I am currently a member of), I assumed I would never hear from this man again. Suuuuure – he’d mentioned that he wanted to go out with me this weekend. But surely, he could tell that the conversation was strained, right? Right?

jason01Welp – apparently he couldnt. Because not only did I receive a good morning call the next morning (at 8:00 AM!), but then when I did not return his call (cuz you know, I work and things) – I also received not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but 5 (yes 5!!!!!!) missed calls later on that day.

And this is why I have decided to develop a pros and cons list for whether or not D-Magic should give her number out to a strange guy EVER again!

Pros  (meaning – reasons I shouldn’t give the number out)

– I wont have to worry about crazy people blowing up my phone throughout the day ever again

– I wont have to have a conversation with someone where I say, “I don’t think this is going to work out,” and he proceeds to try to convince me of how it could – yeah I’m looking at you, Liberian

– I wont be scared that one day one of these fools is going to track me down and find out where I live and/or work

– I wont be able to give CCB any crazy guy fodder for her entertainment purposes

Cons (reasons I should suck it up and keep the party moving)

– Even though I’ve had the tendency lately to meet the crazies, not every guy is crazy – so I can’t blame the entire gender for a measly 10% (no matter how creepy the 10% may be)

– Without giving my number out, I’ll be forced to date and have relations with people I already know [NOT a good idea!]

– Seeing as though I’m not Catholic and I like big egos, I don’t think I could actually make it as a nun

– What would I talk about on this here blog if not for the crazy escapades of a single gal who just wants to meet and date normal guys***

So what say you readers? Am I being too harsh on the guy? Am I being too dramatical about the whole giving my number out process – okay dont answer that, it’s rhetorical LOL.  But can you knock on some wood that a sista gets a break soon?! I’m so sincere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* The Juvie’s not really crazy like the rest of these folks, he’s just, well – the juvie. sigh.

** he didnt actually say he was reading his e-match profile but when you ask someone how old they are and they tell you their age, their child’s age, how many siblings they have, their relationship with their mother and how they like to take long walks in the park and go to jazz clubs all in one sentence – without taking a breath – yep, I’m going to say it was his e-match profile.

*** okay, we all know I’m looking for a liiiiiittle more than just a normal guy, but you get what I’m saying LOL… and I’m not really looking per se, but if one were to happen to fall in my lap, I’d like him to be a lot more normal than these characters.

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11 responses

23 09 2009
countryclubbarbie

Do you wanna get with me? That question is rhetorical!

Sorry had to do it . . .

I’m going to go ahead and say that you should, in fact, continue to give your number to guys because I’m getting a KICK out of it! Co-Me-Dy!

And for that . . . I thank you.

23 09 2009
dbaham

“…. Say the same lines but the fans aren’t bored of me”

You’re welcome…. arse.

28 09 2009
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29 10 2009
Cunty Black Woman

Oh no. Oh nonononono. I am literally sitting here at work reading this with my mouth hanging open. What the hell? I feel for you. I really do.

29 10 2009
dbaham

Sora… (ahem CBW) thank you for feeling my pain… but did you remember to knock on some wood for my good luck? cuz I need it right about now lol…

ALTHOUGH, someone somewhere must have sent up some prayers, because dude finally stopped calling me – like this week! WOOOT!!!!!!!!!!

13 06 2010
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21 08 2010
rana

i rana

21 08 2010
rana

i rana

10 04 2012
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[…] And while this isn’t one of those stories where I tell about a guy saying he wanted to see me “in nothing but a thong and heels,” by the end of the night, I was very uncomfortable – and unfortunately for the guy, he never […]

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