5 ways NOT to seek closure

23 06 2009

With the summer officially in full swing, I figure now’s as good a time as any to let go of any relationships not worth your time. But as anyone who’s ever broken up with someone before knows, the idea of closure can be easier said than done. Here are a couple things you shouldn’t do when trying to seek closure with someone.

1. Send him the letter:

We’ve all heard the idea of writing a letter/email/telegraph, whatever… to your former significant other, telling them allll about how you feel. But if you ever thought about sending him the letter, please dont do it. I repeat, DONT DO IT. I’ve never actually done it myself, but speaking as someone who’s heard the horror stories of those who letterhave, let me tell you, it wont give you any closure… and only serve as evidence for him to clown you with his friends later.

And if you’re reading this right now and thinking, “he wouldnt do that to me…” HA! you couldnt be more wrong.

2. Audition for a soap opera with dramatics:

Okay, now this I have done. Here are some examples of overly dramatic antics…

a. Calling your boyfriend and telling him, “I can’t keep falling for you if you’re not willing to catch me” as you ball on the phone.

b. Write him a note saying, “We can’t be friends anymore” and give it to him right after having dinner with his family

c. send him an email in which you ask him to repeat after you, “I’m not interested in you, I just want us to be friends.”

and if you’re wondering, yep… I did all three… can’t say it did much for closure either time LOL

3. Threaten his life:

angry womanThis can either be in the form of actually threatening his life with words or doing some type of damage to his car. While either of these may sound intriguing to you at the time, I’m sure the jail time won’t exactly help you in finding closure… it’ll just give you more time to think about why you guys didnt work out.

4. Date/make out with/flirt/bone one of his friends:

Ummmm, wanna be called a slore? A slut bag whore? A dirty broad? Welllll, if none of these are your goal in life, my suggestion is that you stay far far away from this category. It can not go well… because even if by chance you are not called either of those names (and thats a very very slim chance), one of 2 things are bound to happen: 1) the friend will be sooo much better than him, but since you’ll probably never be able to do anything serious with him, you’ll just know what you missed out on… or 2) the friend will be worse and you’ll just miss him more.

5. And last but not least, have ex-sex:

Oh boy! Ex-sex… let’s see, it can be great, exhilerating, passionate, thrilling… and when it’s over… it’s going to be heartache, headache, pounding feelings. I dont think the latter is worth the former… no matter how good he is.

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