Are U a Performa?

12 03 2009
I get emails from IVillage.

It’s one of those things where I signed up to have something else come to my email daily and then IVillage decided it wanted to show up as well. Right.

So anyway, I get emails from IVillage. And mostly, I usually ignore them, but sometimes the headline article grabs my attention. That happened the other day when I opened my yahoo account and saw something that read, “He can tell you’re faking it if…”

orgasmWell, seeing as though I am apparently one of the lucky few who have never faked it (not bragging- just sayin… Either it was good and I didn’t need to fake it or it wasn’t that good, and I wasn’t going to lie to make him think that it was. I wouldn’t put that kind of disappointment on another woman later), I didn’t quite know what to expect in the article. So I clicked it and read what they said…. Which was basically this:

There are certain physical ways to tell if a woman is faking or not. They list a bunch like checking to see if she’s flushed (in more than one area) or if she gets up too quickly postcoital, she’s probably faking it… things like that.

But it made me remember a conversation I once had with a PB of mine. Somehow we got to talking about who could fake an orgasm easier, women or men. Obviously, I said women, since I know those who do, you see it on tv all the time that women do, and I mean heck, I figure most porn stars took the Melanie Griffith scream out loud seminar.

He disagreed however. Partly because he likes to disagree with me, but also because he seemed to really believe that men could do it better. His assertion: while a woman could fake the moans, she can’t fake the physical reaction that takes place. At first I thought he meant the stereotypical toes curling, leg twitching reaction. But he didn’t. He meant the inner contraction reaction that ocurrs when a woman orgasms… Clearly he was a man of a certain observation since IVillage lists this as one of the ways to be able to tell if a woman is faking or not.

We heatedly discussed this merit some more with me asserting that a man can’t hide his reaction either and him saying that there were ways, but that he’d be breaking man code if he told me… And it all left me just wondering. Same thing with the article….

What the hell was wrong with people? Why had we (our respective genders) come up with so many different ways to fake something that’s orgasm2supposed to be sooo good! Because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings… The hell!? Bump their feelings. This is supposed to be the time that you GET YOURS and you help your partner get THEIRS too!

I just don’t think I could keep “interviewing” someone when I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied with their resume. You know what I mean? And I certainly wouldn’t fake like I wanted to hire them when I knew they weren’t fit for the job.

What do you all think? Have you ever performed under pressure? And am I being too harsh, are there situations where its okay or do yall have my back on this one?




2 responses

15 03 2009

Hi, I’m Katrina (insert: “Hi Katrina”) and I’m a performa. lol J/K, I’m a reformed performa, 3 years sober. It’s never okay to fake it or overexaggerate it. Like you said, it doesn’t help you, the man, or the woman who gets your sloppy seconds 🙂

16 03 2009

HI Katrina!!!

lol…. it’s okay. The good part is that now you’re sober. And I’m sure you and your “girl” are happier because of this! LMAO!… and I mean, isnt that the point, that she deserves to be happy, not have her owner faking the funk?!

I think we need to go around doing interventions lolololol

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