To Smooch or Not to Smooch

18 02 2009

Have you ever been in a situation or known a guy who said he didn’t like to kiss? I’ve had a couple guy friends profess to me that they only kiss girlfriends, not women they simply have sex with. Why would someone view kissing as a more intimate expression than sex? Well… get ready for the answer… According to a recent yahoo article, a new study is showing that scientifically, men process bonding with kissing more than women do.

Interesting, right?

82746513But if it’s true… and the people doing the study admit to more research being needed, it would explain comments like those we’ve become accustomed to from men. What’s funny is that this idea isn’t anything new. I remember the first time I ever heard about guys being selective about who they kiss. It was in either 7th or 8th grade and also, coincidentally, coincided with me finding out why Lil Kim had a rumor she needed to get her stomach pumped. I was horrified… and so confused! All I knew was that my guy friends kept saying they’d have sex with Lil Kim any day, but they’d never kiss her! EVER!

Now, clearly the reasons for their selective kissing in that instance are a little different than the ones brought out in this study, but it was the first time I’d even heard of people thinking something as simple as kissing meant…. more. Then, I grew older and hung out with more guys and the sentiment kept coming up in conversation. Many of them agreed that “they just weren’t going to go around kissing just any girl.” Well, how could that be, I wondered? These were the same guys who had no problem having sex with the same girls weeks, sometimes days after each other (hey, what can I say? I hung out with male whores… they kept me, or attempted to keep me from dating their kind lol) and yet, they were sb10069475m-005concerned about a little kiss?!?!?!

A kiss? We’re talking about a kiss here!? A kiss… not sex, but a kiss?!?! (shoutout to AI real quick!) The same thing that people did in junior high school when they were playing spin the bottle or hide and go get it? A kiss… the guys were selective about who they kissed, but not who they slid their members into. It boggled my mind. Seriously.

Until one of my guy friends finally broke it down for me… for those guys who were selective, it was because to them, kissing was more intimate, he said. Kissing intimated a bond with that person; that there was more than just a physical connection with that person. And while kissing for me was innocent and simple, for them, it signified relationship. Okay, I thought… well there are things in life that I could equate that to. I, for one, think that cuddling is extremely intimate. I wont do it with just anyone and for the times that I’ve been put in a situation where the guy wanted to cuddle and I didn’t, it was really really awkward. All I kept thinking was, “hey buddy! we’re not there yet! you can’t just let ANYONE hold you! now, please… get off me! lol”

Okay, that may be a slight dramatization… welllll, actually it’s not, I really am that passionate about cuddling. But realizing that guys could legitimately feel the same way about kissing still seemed rather odd to me… until I saw the article. And it showed how most guys dont even 56406892realize that they equate kissing with bonding, they just do… and it may be why they naturally run away from it if they’re not feeling you in more than a physical way. It’s instinct for them.

Which I guess makes it slightly less insulting if you’re a woman who’s ever gone in to kiss a guy and had him turn his face, only to start kissing you elsewhere…. I guess it just shows you where you stand.

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3 responses

18 02 2009
Veronica

OMG! I remember that rumor! And I remember being horrified too!

(Did we ever find out if it was true?)

Alas… interesting subject, friend. Yet another example of why it’s important to learn about guys from other *guys*… not girls that think they know everthing.

And it makes me pretty flattered too… by all accounts, guys have liked kissing me. (tee hee hee…)

As for that last paragraph…. ouch. Damn. Sting.

18 02 2009
dbaham

YES!!!!!! I’m so glad someone else remembers that rumor!!! LMAO!…. although I dont exactly know how true it was, but it says something that it was clearly being rumored in more than one state!

and yes, it is sooooo important to learn guy stuff from guys… my problem is that I get the guy advice and sometimes I “forget” the guy advice when it pertains to me… and then when the EXACT thing happens that they said would happen, I’m like dang… I already knew that! LOL

But I too am glad that I’ve never been turned away… not every girl is so lucky though. I have heard some horror stories. And I mean, you can imagine it being a blow to your system, right? Like… seriously?? you’re NOT going to kiss me!?!? Thats why you have to know your role before you get yourself in that position, thats all the last paragraph was trying to say lololol… no sting intended lol

11 04 2010
Intimate Activities « Choices, Voices, and Sole

[…] intimate. I think by now, you all know I would place cuddling at the very top of this list. At the VERY top. But in case you don’t feel like clicking on those links or have never heard my theory on […]

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