Ultimate Insults

18 12 2008

Now that we’ve recently learned (for those of us who didnt know before) that the throwing of one’s shoe is an ultimate insult in Iraq, I thought about what might be some other expressions that could be considered ultimate insults. In other words, what would these people hurl at someone in disgust.

Jay Z? He might throw a bottle of Cristal your way, or you know since he’s hip hop, he might just hit you upside the head with it. But either way, you get the point. Jay doesnt like Cristal anymore (after he found out about the disparaging comments they made about Black people), so as an ultimate insult… you might want to duck from the glass bottle. Yes, Dame Dash… you should be especially concerned. jay_cristal_200 C. Delores Tucker (before she died)? Tupac’s All Eyez on Me CD. We all know she despised this man… so it wouldnt have taken much out of her to pitch this insult of a cd your way if she caught you doing something she didnt like. C’mon… you know you could see it. all-eyez-on-me Samuel L. Jackson? Ludacris… yes, I realize Luda is an actual person… but he’s short enough for Samuel L. to toss him at someone, and plus Luda Christopher Bridges represents what Samuel L. claims he hates the most: rappers getting actors’ jobs. As a matter of fact, he might be able to toss T.I. too as long as he doesnt have too many guns on him to weigh him down. Oh that was wrong, huh? Not as wrong as him calling Tiny a situation (yea, I still haven’t forgotten that.) samuel-l Bill Gates? Internet Explorer (if it was tangible, he’d soooo throw this thing at his latest enemy). I mean, just how many potentially deadly flaws can one browser have? Well… IE is certainly trying to find out and you have to know it’s given the Gates man a HUGE headache right now. If he could toss that thing at someone, say I dont know, George Bush… I think he just might do it. bill-gates Sarah Palin? A book… I mean, she doesnt read them, so she’d have to pick it up for some reason, right? What better reason than to toss at your head? john-mccain

What about you, dear reader? What would you toss at someone as the ultimate insult and why?

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3 responses

20 12 2008
mama's got moxie

ha!! girl, you are a mess… 🙂

16 01 2009
jason kenny

Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road.

1 02 2009
dbaham

lol @ mama… I know. lol

Thanks JK!!!!

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