24 11 2008
How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.I thought we’d get to see forever
But forever’s gone away
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Have you ever had to do something that you don’t want to do… but you know you MUST do? I’m at that point right now…

I started this post a couple months ago, when I thought I needed to say goodbye to a certain person. Agapenin. Okay it was Jake, again. Yes, I said again and yes I get how you’re probably looking right now, so just stop.

Anyway, I stopped writing it (actually I got about as far as “right now” in the first sentence and stopped writing it), partly because I realized that the closure I sought wouldn’t come from writing the post and partly because I realized that closure was already there; I just had to acknowledge it. So I acknowledged it and moved on…

But then I came across this post again, right in the midst of dealing with some other things and realized/ remembered what I really needed to say goodbye to: my fears. I’d briefly cracked the surface of that earlier in the summer when CCB and I embarked on our heralded 9 things in 09 list and were getting numerous sermons hitting us with the same theme: let go of your fears.

But you know, its like the song says, it can be hard to say goodbye sometimes, even to something that’s bad because mostly… you’ve grown comfortable with it.

So this is now a new post. A post about the things I recognize I need to say goodbye to in my life. Maybe yours is a fear of getting chopped and screwed and maybe you can join me in evoking the powerful one-finger come hither move to help you with this fear… Or maybe its something entirely unrelated to shoes, heart-and-soulpolitics, or relationships; that’s ok! Still, you know, feel free to pour out your heart and soul in my comment section lol… Nah I’m playing (about the heart and soul part, not the commenting part.) It won’t be that hard.

So in no special order, I say goodbye to:
1. My fear that no man will ever live up to my expectations, thus finding myself perpetually in a state of disappointment…

2. My fear of showing my vulnerabilities to others…

3. My fear of commitment; I know that sounds strange, but it’s true lol

4. Being scared of lions, tigers, and bears… lol… no, really!

So what about y’all? What are some things you need to say goodbye to……




3 responses

24 11 2008

Since I’m in sappy, soul-cleansing mood (thanks to you, Barbie, and Leona Lewis)… I have to get rid of this paralyzing fear that I’ll never have that long-lasting relationship where the admiration, love and respect is mutual and equal. You know… never get the chance to be someone’s Michelle. It’s the one thing I want that I can’t get by submitting a resume or stopping by the MAC counter… so I’m quite literally terrified that I’ll never have it, for real.

Trying to change my thinking… trying hard….

24 11 2008

ugh…. we are so —> HERE<—!!!!!!!!!! But no, really, I’m glad that me, CCB, and Leona have been instrumental in bringing on the cleansing and the changing of thinking… it’s hard. But yay for us… we’re doing it! Or you know, trying… LOL

25 11 2008

Does this mean I have to get over being “chopped and screwed?”

Just kidding . . . I cosign D-magic . . . and don’t worry, we all can work on changing our thinking together . . . one day at a time . . . sometimes one very long day at a time . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: