The Code

12 09 2008

Am I trippin???

… or is dating/ attempting to date your friend’s ex no longer under the unwritten rules section in the Code?

You know the code: the list of things that friends do and don’t do around/with/to each other. Now, depending on your group of friends… this list can range from vowing to go into crisis mode when you start crying on the yard fest in the rain (not like that, um, happened to anyone or anything lol) to being there to dog out someone with an awful, yet great nickname after a perceived wrongdoing and anything in between.

So I get that everyone’s codes aren’t the same. I do. But I thought that some things were just kinda universal… no? And more specifically, I thought exes (and I suppose as you get older, certain lovers) were off limits. For all close friends. At all times. Definitely a foul on the play if it happens.

Apparently, I was wrong though. Looking at television lately, going after your friend’s ex dude seems to be all the rage! On The Hills, Stephanie Pratt is supposedly hooking up with Lauren’s ex boyfriend in a coming episode, and on The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Lauren makes out with her friend Amy’s baby daddy AND the holy roly girl named Grace starts dating her only girl (space) friend’s ex boyfriend, and we wont even get on the crazy love triangle that may be brewing on 90210. I mean, c’mon people. Really?!

As Gerren of Baldwin Hills said recently, “Um… I know I broke up with him and he’s my leftovers. But that doesn’t mean I was done eating.”

And hello… that’s just the thing. Even if your friend swears up and down that he or she is over the person that they previously dated and/or had sex with, um… chances are they’re not. And that can just become a very sticky situation.

Okay, now before you think I’m crazy and all non-compromising and stuff, let me tell you that I’m definitely not one of those people who thinks every single person you ever liked is off limits. (Trust me, I know people who do think this way though.) But if you’re close enough with that person to know about their relationship, you probably know the extent to which they’d be okay with this breach of the code.

I for one, assume that all my close friends know that Jake, BJ, and Jon Jon are off limits. But if someone really wants to deal with the Kappa or Med Student or the ass from New Orleans… hey, go ahead and knock yourself out. And I would assume that they would know this because they were the friends who saw me go through whatever with the ones who are off limits and saw me be like “whatever” with the ones who aren’t. So see, I’m not unreasonable… which leaves me even more dumbfounded that there seems to be this new phenomenon that’s making this indiscretion okay.

I mean, am I wrong? Am. I. Trippin? Is it no longer a rule? And if it isnt… who’s going send out the memo to let all the friends out there know to be on the watch out for Suzie Wink Eye over there, cuz she’s trying to size up yo honey bunny?

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7 responses

12 09 2008
countryclubbarbie

You know it’s so funny – I was having this conversation with some girls about this same thing. Like really, when did it become OK? It’s really, really not. Angela and Vanessa even said that on that little The Hills special when Jen Bunny went after Brody – ughhh disgraceful. And I agree with Vanessa, it’s not just code. It’s written, like in the sky!

And let me find out that one of ya’ll went after Ken/Voldy, Jerrell, HS Sweetheart or Denny – it’s on AND poppin. Oh yeah, you might as well throw LeMichael and Mailroom Cutie into that mix too, ha ha ha. Actually, you can have LeMichael if you want him.

And for the record, don’t nobody want your stinkin’ Kappa, LOLOLOL! Or Med Student. Or Ass from N.O.

12 09 2008
dbaham

Oh good! That makes me feel a lot better… cuz I really thought I was trippin… like I was in the stone age or something! LOL

And for the record, dont nobody want any of yours either! Hmph! LOL… nah I’m just messing. Its all good. I just wanted to put the disclaimer out there, that you know, if you’re gonna jump out there… do it with them and not the others, cuz I dont wanna have to cut anyone 🙂

12 09 2008
medstudent2010

Now… this was wonderful!!! It is damn sure a rule. Let me catch anyone of my friends with my boyfriend from college and it will make national news. The headline will read something like: “CRAZED MED STUDENT MURDERS FORMER FRIEND IN TWISTED LOVE TRIANGLE.” However, I would like for you to address how to handle the following situation: Your friend has liked a guy damn near a year. They have never been on a date, talked on the phone, or anything… However, she still likes him. Now, is he off limits to any of her friends? Basically, does the mere infatuation of one of your friends make a guy off-limits?

13 09 2008
Veronica

All I’m gonna say is…

I’m cracking skulls.

Especially since the pickings from my leftovers are SOOOO small. (Not physically small, just small in quantity… I mean… you know what I mean.) So it would be like, “Damn, homie, REALLY? You’re THAT thirsty that you had to drink from my two glasses? Really? Get a Deer Park, shit.”

@medstudent: The whole “liking” thing is kinda fuzzy. I knew it was a no-go in college, but now… I dunno. Haven’t faced the situation. And it seems like my girls and I all have different tastes anyway. So… *shrug*

14 09 2008
dbaham

“Get a Deer Park, shit.” HA HA HA HA…. that is my new FAV line!!!

you guys have certainly reiterated my beliefs for me… good. All hope is not lost 🙂

@ med student… like we talked about, it’s such a sticky situation when its someone who likes the person. I think you have to judge the situation based on how close that person is to you and if they actually like the person or just think that they’re cute. AND I feel some type of way if it’s someone who just likes to call dibs on a whole bunch of folks, but thats just my humble opinion.

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