Relationships, Sex and… athletes???

12 02 2010

“I can’t wait until he knows he’s my son-in-law!” Mama D-Magic (from this point forward known as S-Spice)

Anyone who even sorta kinda knows me (especially through facebook) will tell you that I have a huge, major crush on Darren Sharper. I’m so not kidding. The man makes me all googly and even though I appreciate the art of crushing, it’s rare that I actually do it – so trust me, this is noteworthy. Because of this massive crush, there have been a couple random, but slightly entertaining things I’ve thought about concerning relationships, sex and athletes.

  • As I noted, I have a huge crush on D. Sharper. It’s so bad that my family members know that when I speak about my “husband,” I’m speaking about him. In fact, my mom is attending the annual Bacchus Ball (as she does every year) this year and since Drew Brees is the King of Bacchus this year, most folks are assuming that other members of the Saints will be there. You know what my mom and I have been talking about lately? How cute of a picture I need to send her so she can show him her daughter at the ball LOL… seriously.  It’s gotten so bad that 2 family friends recently said something to my mom about Darren being so foine, and her response to both was that it was completely inappropriate for them to discuss her son-in-law in that manner in front of her. I love that she has taken this idea of claiming my relationship with this man to heart and all of this boils down to one important note – more moms need to be just as supportive lol.
  • My sister and I have been debating since Christmas this very important topic: what you would rather date – a bench player or a super star? I say bench player (Sharper aside, of course), because I don’t think I’m equipped to deal with all the groupie love like say Kim Kardashian has with Reggie Bush. Remember, I can be kind of a possessive patty :) She says that dating a bench player takes away most of the excitement of being with an athlete. She wants  to see him on TV and root him on while he’s knocking folks out on the football field or dunking on cats in the arena. I say we can tape his performance on the practice squad, watch that bad boy on the big screen in our living room and never know the difference! Is that wrong?
  • I met a dude recently who was soooooo cute!, but he claimed to have had 79 partners, and while I called BS – even if that number is 1/2 of what he claims, the guy was 25! So if I believe he started having sex at 15 years, that means in 10 years – this man has had sex with at least 40 different women. Now, I’m not one to judge… but that’s a lot of damn women! And while my head and heart may be able to try and rationalize anyone having sex with that many people in a matter of 10 years, Lil Mermaid is not so forgiving. She does not want a penis that’s so unpicky! But here’s the thing – could you imagine what an athlete’s count would be? And then a superstar athlete?! ewwwww me and Lil Mermaid are queasy just thinking about it…
  • My aunt called me during one of the snow events I was working recently (damn DC snow!!!!! grrrrr), because she had Willis McGahee on the phone to speak to me. I missed the call, of course.  When I found out what happened, my first reaction was – if you run into D. Sharper, call me over and over until I pick up the phone! Don’t get me wrong, McGahee is fine as hell, but he ain’t no damn Darren Sharper lol (shouts to Boss Brown!)
  • A guy I met recently asked me if I had the opportunity one night to have sex with my number 2 celebrity athlete crush and then the very next night, had the opportunity to have sex with my number 1 celebrity athlete crush – if I took both opportunities, would I be considered a whore (based strictly on main society’s definition Cunty Black Woman – no shade here) because I had sex with 2 men in 48 hrs. My response, the hypothetical could never happen because a) I only have one celebrity athlete crush and 2) I wouldn’t settle for having a one night stand with that man… I want to MARRY him! But now I’m asking you all? Would you do it and would you feel like a groupie afterward, at least?

Anyway – those are my random athlete thoughts for the weekend. Any athlete crush you’d like to share???

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5 responses

12 02 2010
countryclubbarbie

OK – that whole entire rant was funny as hell. Especially the Willis McGahee part (and tell your aunt to go ahead and call your BFF Barbie the next time she has Willis on the phone . . . I’m just saying).

I don’t have anything to add, except that you’d probably still be surprised by what happens when you date a bench athelete. The hookers, whores and groupies are still throwing themselves at them. As someone who had the, err, pleasure of dating an NCAA basketball player on a B grade team (not because the team sucked, but because they weren’t a Duke, UNC, G-Town, etc.) I’ve seen first hand that the sluts really don’t care where the guy falls in the line-up. Or, what conference his team plays in.

While this situation is great for the average looking, 3 minutes of playing time guy who is 2nd to last on the bench (hey, they need love too!) – it sucks for their girlfriends. And, since you are known to be a Possessive Patty at times, I’d venture to say, that you still wouldn’t be pleased dating a bench player for the simple fact that the groupies and hoes will come after him too – if only because he has a Saints or Colts or even Redskins jersey.

Now, with that being said, let it be known that I would gladly and willingly break-up the happy home of Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard . . . I’m just sayin . . .

13 02 2010
dbaham

glad you could appreciate the ranting lolololol… but uhhhh, I won’t be relaying that message about W. McGahee… I’m still salty about missed call. yeah I said it lol

And yeah, I recognize that the bench player would have groupies as well…. but not in the vein of say Claudia O (I think that’s her name) putting his whole house on blast on the internets and shit LOL. I’m just thinking that if you’re a groupie and Darren Sharper walks in and then 5 minutes later, some dude whose name you don’t know walks in – chances are you’re going for Darren. Now you might eventually settle for the dude with no name, but Darren is who you’re pursuing with a passion!

lololol… yes we know how you feel about Kobe and Dwight. And you know I loves me some Kobe, but I’m not getting down with the things he likes to do in the boudoir. Dwight though, I don’t think he has a happy home… so you could definitely go for that with no remorse LMAO!

14 02 2010
LEE

Now i think the both of you are crazy. I’d have to agree with Barbie though a ball player is a ball player in theses chics eyes they don’t care all they see is $ signs; groupies arent dumb by far they are running behind any ball player they can catch. so there will deff be hoes everywhere you look no matter what. thats just the nature of the game.

20 02 2010
Boss Brown

LOVE this post. Would I hook up with an athelete? Probably. Would I seriously date an athelete? No. But I’m already screwed with that answer b/c as you know, if you mess with me – it’s going to be serious. I’m a serious chick. Not to be taken lightly. lol. So I say all that to say – would it be a bad decision for me? Yes. Would I do it regardless? Strong possibility, just to say I had. Bench players included. Now if you’re as fine as that damn Darren Sharper, the answer is a solid yes – I’m going in all the way. (I’m just saying “IF.” I know it won’t happen cause you already got him boo. No offense, okay?lol) I had a bench player try to holla at me a while ago, but I “wasn’t interested” b /c I was so in love with my regular ass boyfriend at the time. Ohhhhh damn – to be so young and stupid. lol

21 02 2010
dbaham

well I see, no one is on my side about the bench player, not even my BFF. hmph… that’s fine! lol

@ BB – you are a serious chick lol. and I’m glad we have an understanding about Darren – you can have dreams all you want though LOL. And hey, who knows, if you believe Lee and CCB, then it was probably a good move that you didn’t get with the bench player because he would have just cheated on you anyway lol

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