Silver and gold, silver and gold, mean so much more when I see, silver and gold decorations, on every foot I see Christmas tree.
In light of the holidays, here are some great Christmas shoes you can wear for the holidays… in Silver, Gold, and Red.
Guess "Davisa" sandals
Aldo "Laack"
Aldo "Rubinson"
Nine West "Starfish"
Steve Madden "Caprye" pumps
Nordstrom - Sergio Rossi "Prisca" slingback
Nordstrom - BCBG "Dante" Pump
Okay… this is going a little too far now.
"giving Cosmo the side-eye on this one"
We’ve been told for years you could tell how a guy felt about you by the way he kissed you. Of course, this was before people regularly just started enjoying the art of kissing randoms, so I guess Cosmo felt another sign needed to be considered. But his hug?
Well, according to the bastion of man knowledge (eek to anyone who really believes that, I mean, I love them and all – but come on), there are four hugs that a guy can give you that will signal his feelings towards you: The sneak attack, which is the hug from behind; the rub, where he gently strokes your back while he’s holding you; the pat, where he thumps your upper back during an embrace; and the waist wrap, where he encircles your lower back with his hands and pulls you tightly toward him.
And I mean, it sounds alright as far as theory… but I’m not buying it as much as I think they want me to.
First of all – how could they forget the all important bear hug?!!?!? Seriously – once I realized this was not on the list, they lost all credibility for the article. Second – I get that one of the bigger questions that a woman will ask herself (relationshipwise) is – “does he like me,” but I just feel like the way he hugs you won’t give you the real answer you want to know.
His hug. His kiss. Whether or not he leans towards you when he talks. Does he give you a forehead kiss? Or call you every hour on the hour? These are all interesting concepts and great magazine fodder, but not as helpful in real life. I will always and forever contend that a man makes it perfectly clear when he likes you. Seriously – you won’t have to decipher anything or pick through any codes. You will know – this man likes me.
Now, I’m the first one to admit I don’t often follow my own advice. There are times when I get caught up in the signs of “likinghood” and start dwelling on things like, “well, I mean – he did call me babe yesterday when we were on the phone, do you think that means something?” We all do that at some point – we revert back to high school, especially when we like the guy in question… because everyone wants the person they like to like them back, right? But even I know that silly declarations such as him calling you babe don’t amount to much if it then took him another 3 weeks to call you again.
Look – all I’m saying is that you don’t need to read a book (ahem, He’s Just Not that into You) to know if a dude is feeling you or not. You don’t need to con him into a hug to see whether he rubs your back or pats you on the upper arm or some craziness – you just need to pay attention to him. He’ll tell you – in his actions and his words, in what he does or doesn’t do, he’ll tell you. It’ll be a lot clearer than anything Cosmo ever wrote – esp since they left out the bear hug as an option.
No, I didn’t forget. lol
I’m a holiday person… which doesn’t mean that I just like the holidays. Plenty of people like the holidays – I love the holidays. And really, I’m a holiday person, but I’m really a Christmas and Birthday person (yes, I consider birthdays personal holidays).
I’ve pretty much always been a holiday person though, so this is nothing new. Need I remind you of this post right here or this post right here. More importantly though, I’m pretty sure that my parents and grandparents are to blame for my love for Christmas. We still do the same tradition every Christmas – all decorate the houses together to the tunes of the Jackson Five Christmas album (on record, not CD). We’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember – no one thinks it’s lame or corny, no one puts up a fight… it’s just what we do. Shoot – I have no shame in admitting this, but I even believed in Santa Claus until I was about 10 (partially because when I was starting to doubt his existence around the age of 5, my mother came upstairs, walked into my room and pointed to the sky at this red thing flying past our house because I wouldn’t go to sleep. Of course she told me the red thing was Santa’s sled… of course, I later found out it was an airplace… but at the time, it kept me going for another 5 years). Anyway – you get it, I’m a holiday person.
The other day I went shopping at Target for Christmas decorations and literally lost my flippin’ mind. Like no kidding here – by the time I was done, I’d completely filled up one of those big Target carts (okay, so it may have been actually over flowing out of the cart). Clearly I completely forgot that I would have to carry all this crap home on the metro, and not in a car lol. Oh, I remembered half way through the exasperated cashier’s turn at sorting all the stuff I was purchasing. When she got to the Christmas lingerie (you knew I had to get some, right?), she looked up at me – “You like Christmas, huh?” “Yeah, I kinda do,” I replied. I started to explain further, but then realized… man, I don’t need to explain myself to the cashier lol.
Condescending tone aside, she may have had a slight point about all the stuff I was getting – but I mean, you can keep Christmas decorations for years… right? lol…
Anyway, I say all this to say —- I’m a holiday person. So that means I’m really looking forward to the next couple weeks, that great time right before Thanksgiving all the way to the end of New Years. I mean seriously, at no other time in the year, do you literally get three holidays in like 6 weeks. That’s effing amazing – and I am tres excited about it! I’m excited to see everyone’s faces when they open their presents (cuz you know I’m already done shopping). I’m excited to make my eggnog and brownies and have some of Saucy Mamacita’s Coquito. I’m excited to spend Thanksgiving with my sisters… and to see my babies and grandparents for Christmas.
Shoot I’m even excited to wear my Christmas lingerie – even if it is just for me right now. Cuz hey, I have no problem getting sexy for myself… if I don’t who will, I say… who will? So I guess really this post is a fair warning to you, dear readers. There may be an influx of Holiday posts coming soon – still on topic (as much as I ever stay on topic here lol)… but very holiday centric. I hope you enjoy the ride – I will!
After listening to the new Rihanna CD (and don’t stone me, it’s actually kinda good *bracing herself*), I realized something very important about myself musically – I’m a sucker for any song with a good guitar solo.
Rihanna: Rockstar – check!
Ciara: Promise – check!
Usher: Do it to me – check!
R Kelly: Imagine That – check!
Trey Songz: Your Side of the Bed – check!
Prince: uhhhh anything!
It’s amazing that I never discovered this before… it’s just something about that guitar sound that gets me every time, whether it’s a sexy song or rockin’ out type of song, or even a sad song. I can’t quite explain the allure – I just know that whenever I hear that guitar in the background, I am silently waiting for the moment it takes its position to the front of the song and gives me what I need. And as soon as it comes – I start flailing my hair around, violently strumming my air guitar like I took lessons in another life, and jumping around like I’m Slash’s long lost daughter (I do this in my head and in real life, just depends on the present environment I’m in – but trust me I’m doing it every time whether you know it or not lol).
Which got me to thinking – what other things give me what I need even though I can’t quite explain why? In essence, what other things can I say… it just must be your guitar…
Welp, here’s a few I came up with:
Lil’ Wayne – maybe it’s the fact that he thinks he can play the guitar just as much as I can lol, although it’s probably not that. Maybe he’s my one venture into liking a bad boy (even though on the grand scale of bad guys, he’s really kind of a puppy – well, except for the whole drug addict thing lol). Maybe it’s the swag/ his orange aura – but I don’t know about that either, because there are a lot of swagged out rappers and I have very little fascination with any of them. Could be his money I suppose, but I don’t think I’m a gold digger. It’s certainly not the teeth (ick!) or the tats (even though I have six, myself, he’s doing a bit much)… so what IS it? I don’t know – but whatever it is – it’s there. Must be his….
A man hugging me from behind (and not in a sexual manner) – for whatever reason, this move will make me melt each and every time. Maybe it’s the security of a guy enveloping you. Maybe it’s that it usually also involves him whispering in my ear or kissing me on my neck (and I think Erika Badu proved to everyone how much girls love that)… either way, if you are a guy and you want me to be putty in your hands, this move will certainly not hurt your case.
General Hospital/Grey’s Anatomy – what’s funny is that I have never wanted to be a doctor, but ever since I can remember, I have been watching General Hospital and the craziness that ensues on that soap. In fact, I used to watch a lot of soaps, but it’s really the only one that I care about actually keeping up with. Even to this day, as a grown arse woman, I will make sure that by the end of the week, I have seen at least 3 episodes so that I have a general idea of what’s going on. And with Grey’s – well let’s put it this way: I was texting back and forth with a good friend yesterday. At some point, she said she would just call me later on that night, and then felt the need to clarify “of course not during Grey’s.” So true – because unless it’s an emergency, your call will go unanswered during that time. It sounds crass – but it’s just truth. lol Don’t ask me to try to explain to you why I love them so much because I wouldn’t be able to – but if you think you’re going to stop my love for them, you are so sadly mistaken.
A guy who can be just as much of an ass as he can be a sweetheart – this sounds bad. I realize. But listen, I think it goes back to the fact that I tend to like guys who can play more than one role. I am highly attracted to men who can comfortably wear a suit and a pair of basketball shorts (obviously not at the same time) equally. HIGHLY. So when a guy can be a sweetheart but has just a smidgen of asshole in him – sigh… okay, this is really bad. Because now I sound like that girl the guys talk about who likes bad boys, even though Wayne aside I definitely do not. I just like him to have a little edge, not I’m scared to leave the house type edge, but a little. Okay… this is getting worse. I’m stopping now lol.
Stilettos – do I really have to explain this?
Anyway, you get what I’m saying here… there are just some things that I like that I can’t always explain to people the reasons. What about you guys?What things must be your guitar?
A writer on the Frisky recently posed the question, what happens if you’re caught with your spanx on during a surprise make-out session, and I immediately started chuckling as it’s certainly a conversation my friends and I have had before. Unfortunately, the article only gave one very brief suggestion of what to do – basically fess up – but my friends and I have certainly come up with funnier ways of getting around it. Wanna know – here it go. Below you’ll see some paraphrased statements about our unfortunate mishaps with experiences such as this (hey, I can’t be expected to remember full statements verbatim, but you’ll get the gist of the stories either way lol). *names are not mentioned so as to protect the guilty parties, and yes that does include me lol*
What about you girls? Has this ever happened to you or do you just call it a night if you have on your Spanx? And guys – what would you do/have you done on the other side of the situation?
Cosmo recently did an article entitled, The 6 Things Guys Notice 6 Seconds After You Meet.* Some of the things they mentioned were our smiles, hair, and skin. I actually kind of agreed with most of them, with the exception of the last one – your bag. In my experience, any guy who is really concerned with certain aspects of my accessories wants to wear them… he’s not all that concerned about how they look on me. Now, I’m not saying guys aren’t observant – most will take notice that you look is put together. But to notice your bag?? I don’t know – but hey, I’ve been wrong before lol.
Either way, this article inspired me to think about the things that I notice when I first meet a guy. Now, I won’t be presumptuous and assume that these are things that ALL women notice – but I mean, some of them probably are very common.
1. His smile – I think it’s fairly well documented on this blog about my obsession with SWT (straight white teeth)… but it’s not just the teeth that I notice. I notice everything about a guy’s smile. Does it seem sinister? Does his smile indicate a bit of a bad boy? Is he cheesing cuz he’s really interested in me or because he’s nervous? Is it a full on smile or something where he’s trying to hide it? As you can see, I take a guy’s smile very seriously. I just think it says so much about you… I’ll have to remember to elaborate on that in a later post sometime soon lol.
2. His eyes – Second only to the smile, the way a guy looks at you can tell you a lot about what he’s thinking when he sees you. True story – when I first met one of my friends, she had this guy who she would joke around with sometimes, but by no means were they doing anything. By the 2nd week of seeing the way he looked at her, I knew them not doing anything would be a wrap soon. She always wanted to know how I knew that he liked her – and all I could say was you could see it in his eyes. Same goes with a guy when you meet him. This is crucial shit, guys.
3. His Demeanor – I love a man who carries himself well. Scratch that – this is how important demeanor is… ask any woman what’s sexy to them? I’m willing to bet you that 9 times out of 10, at some point the girl will say something like, “there’s nothing sexier than a man who walks into a room and commands your attention.” It’s not about swag, arrogance, or anything – it’s something more. It’s what he exudes – demeanor ain’t no hoe.
4. His skin – I’m going to agree with Cosmo on this one. As shallow as this sounds, it’s real. We’re not in high school anymore and major adult acne is not what’s up. I’m not talking about the occasional pimple, but seriously Proactive has been around for years. If you’re not willing to take care of that for yourself, what makes me think you’re going to be diligent in the things you do for me? It’s all in the details people. Plus, even if you can’t afford Proactive, there’s all kinds of other brands that work well too. I personally enjoy Aveda’s products… he should know by now what works for him. If he doesn’t, that means he may not know what other things do and don’t work for him – and if you’re wondering if I’m talking about a certain funtastic tango – I am lol.
5. His interaction with me – you can’t discount this. If all the other things are a 10 and his interaction with you is a 5, it’s a bust. Make sure to pay attention and you’ll know within a few seconds if a guy’s interaction with you is cloud 59 great or if you should run for the hills. No further explanation needed.
What do you think I’m missing girls? And guys – tell me, is this bag thing true? How does that work for someone like me who enjoys a good purse but is much more concerned with her shoes?
* The article was in a section called First Impressions: How to Impress a Guy – hence my title. I need him to impress me just as much – shoot! LOL
A few weeks ago, I started this post that would be titled, “Tick Tock, Tick Tock” and it was going to be about how some of my friends’ biological clocks were beginning to loudly tick in their heads and that while I could not relate exactly (because, let’s face it – I’m too excited being a godmommy, teetee, and cousin to all the little ones in my life, and that’s more than enough for me right now), I could sympathize with the tick tocking sound – because my own clock was resonating in my head. To be clearer, the post was going to be about how I was at a point in my life where I wanted to start building something with someone… which sounds crazy if you read this post and this post. Here’s how it was supposed to go…
I never knew it would happen to me… in fact, I used to make fun of the women you’d see on TV or the ones you’d read about in magazines, and I’d always say, “Whew, I will NEVER be that woman.” And yet, here I stand (like Usher)… or rather sit ( since I’m typing)… as that woman.
It could be the fact that in the past year, I’ve known over 15 people who’ve gotten married… 4 couples who’ve gotten engaged, and 10 (yes 10!!!!!!!!!!!!) people who’ve married in between the months of September and October 2009 alone… but whatever it is, it’s here. I am her.
And I don’t like it… not one little bit.
And then I stopped. I never finished writing it. That will happen sometimes when I’m writing a post for the future… I’ll start it, come back to it when I have more time, and eventually finish it – but the reason I stopped was different this time. I stopped because something about the post didn’t seem…. right.
And so I came back to it today, and realized what it was. I should say from the start (or rather the middle now lol) that November has come to be a very emotional month for me. I had a tragedy happen with a boyfriend at this time 2 years ago and while I have mostly grown from that experience and certainly don’t regret the time we shared, there are times when the pain of it is excruciating. Not often. Most days I’m fine, most days I’m dealing with other matters or figuring out other situations, focusing on other people – but some days are not good. November is pretty much a month full of not good days.
And if you know me, then you know that means I instinctively retreat. One of my friends so eloquently pointed out to me the other day that I am “a silent person when it comes to dealing with pain.” Another friend once called me Brie from Desperate Housewives (and if you’re reading this – yes, that still hurts lol). This November, however, has been particularly frustrating because of the post I was starting to write. Like I said, I’ve never been that girl who wants to be in a relationship. It just usually happens. I’m either in one or I’m not – and usually, even if I’m not, I’m not alone.
But a little while ago, I chose to be alone. I let go of the go-to (for a few different reasons) and decided that the next guy would be something substantial – still moving at a slow pace – but substantially moving at a slow pace. And since then, I have met guys. I’ve continued to meet men, give them my phone number, have them try to date me…. and continued to shut them down. Because really, there’s only been one man I’ve ever really wanted over the past 5 years.
In the midst of all the other guys and all the other dates, he’s the only one that I want to call when something great happens or that I want to rub my hair when something goes wrong. He’s the only one who can make things better for me at the sound of his voice and can bring a cheesy smile to my face at the mention of his name. He’s the only one I’ve literally had dreams of spending the rest of my life with – and while he’s not the one who died in November, he is the one who should have been out of my life 5 years ago. And every day that I want that, especially in November, there’s an equally just as paralyzing feeling that I am shitting on the memory of the man who I say taught me that I deserve better.
So I think that the reason I stopped the post was because the post was going to be about wanting to be in a relationship. But that’s not true – I don’t. I want to be with him… which is something entirely and wholeheartedly different. And yet, as much as I want to be with him – I KNOW we will never be together. There are some things that you just know. Like the fact that the tick tocking may not be the tick tocking of wanting a relationship, but a constant reminder that it’s time (past time) to let go.
A long time ago, on my first blog, I mentioned that I have this weird thing that I do of connecting to quotes and characters on certain shows. I get too invested sometimes. I can quote almost full episodes of Grey’s Anatomy (I’m not kidding… nor am I bragging either). I know it’s weird – but I still do it, kind of like how I still collect and keep a very handy box of cards at my place that I have purchased in advance for pretty much any occasion you can imagine. Anyway, the other day I was watching Glee and they sang the song, “Defying Gravity,” from the musical, Wicked.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!….
I’m through accepting limits
”cause someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I’ll never know!
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love I guess I’ve lost
Well, if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I’d sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I’m defying gravity,
I think I’ll try defying gravity… and you won’t bring me down.
And it just stuck. Now is the time to LEAP! Do everything I say I do – go no holds bar for everything I want. (except him, of course lol)… and immediately (well, after singing it a few times in the shower and in the bed with my remote as the microphone), I was at peace. No more ticking, no more tocking – just silence. The good kind.
Once upon a time, a young D-Magic (for new readers – that’s me lol) was what one might call a technical virgin.
In fact, until she eventually let a certain “BJ” deflower her and rip the purity right out of her soul (dramatic enough? lol), she was quite secure in her decision to be a virgin, technically of course. She believed in kissing and cuddling and fondling and digitizing (lol) and all that good stuff – and never doubted the fact that it made her any less of a Jordin Sparks purity princess. 
And then S.O.S. happened.
For those who are not aware (and I will not divulge names as to protect the innocent), S.O.S. occurred during the summer after my sophomore year. It was a summer filled with many things – an awesome internship program, a crazy great but short project with the New York Times, an introduction to some of the coolest people ever, and of course PLENTY O’ MEN lol. And due to the men (and partially the cool friends, as well), that summer affectionately became known as the Summer of Sin (hence S.O.S.) – but it’s also S.O.S. because some may have called it a cry for help.
So what does all this have to do with the $64,000 question? Well… during this summer of sin, as previously mentioned, there were plenty of guys that my friends and I entertained. We liked them, we liked kissing them and having all kinds of fun with them – but we were for the most part, still virgins… technically of course. And we were perfectly cool with this, until one day towards the end of the summer, on a bus ride to Georgetown, as we were discussing our conquests, a wonderful question came up – Can you be a virgin and still be a whore?
At first, the initial thought was “psshhhh, of course not!” But then we thought about it further? Well, if you’re doing everything but the actual act, what makes you different than the girl who takes it one step further? Sure, she’s had more than a finger enter her, but is that enough to distinguish the two in the case of whoredom??? We never came to a conclusion. But you can.
Speak on it readers – what do you say? Can a virgin be a whore, or does the mere definition of virginity give her (ahem, me – at that time), a safety clause?
I’d soooo ask for these!!!
what would you ask for?
