5 ways NOT to seek closure

With the summer officially in full swing, I figure now’s as good a time as any to let go of any relationships not worth your time. But as anyone who’s ever broken up with someone before knows, the idea of closure can be easier said than done. Here are a couple things you shouldn’t do when trying to seek closure with someone.

1. Send him the letter:

We’ve all heard the idea of writing a letter/email/telegraph, whatever… to your former significant other, telling them allll about how you feel. But if you ever thought about sending him the letter, please dont do it. I repeat, DONT DO IT. I’ve never actually done it myself, but speaking as someone who’s heard the horror stories of those who have, let me tell you, it wont give you any closure… and only serve as evidence for him to clown you with his friends later.

And if you’re reading this right now and thinking, “he wouldnt do that to me…” HA! you couldnt be more wrong.

2. Audition for a soap opera with dramatics:

Okay, now this I have done. Here are some examples of overly dramatic antics…

a. Calling your boyfriend and telling him, “I can’t keep falling for you if you’re not willing to catch me” as you ball on the phone.

b. Write him a note saying, “We can’t be friends anymore” and give it to him right after having dinner with his family

c. send him an email in which you ask him to repeat after you, “I’m not interested in you, I just want us to be friends.”

and if you’re wondering, yep… I did all three… can’t say it did much for closure either time LOL

3. Threaten his life:

This can either be in the form of actually threatening his life with words or doing some type of damage to his car. While either of these may sound intriguing to you at the time, I’m sure the jail time won’t exactly help you in finding closure… it’ll just give you more time to think about why you guys didnt work out.

4. Date/make out with/flirt/bone one of his friends:

Ummmm, wanna be called a slore? A slut bag whore? A dirty broad? Welllll, if none of these are your goal in life, my suggestion is that you stay far far away from this category. It can not go well… because even if by chance you are not called either of those names (and thats a very very slim chance), one of 2 things are bound to happen: 1) the friend will be sooo much better than him, but since you’ll probably never be able to do anything serious with him, you’ll just know what you missed out on… or 2) the friend will be worse and you’ll just miss him more.

5. And last but not least, have ex-sex:

Oh boy! Ex-sex… let’s see, it can be great, exhilerating, passionate, thrilling… and when it’s over… it’s going to be heartache, headache, pounding feelings. I dont think the latter is worth the former… no matter how good he is.

Really Steve Madden? REALLY?!

So I get back to America, after being gone for a week… I’m checking my email… and what do I see? A sale deal from Steve Madden! Really? The last thing I need to do is spend anymore money right now, and here they are, tempting me with deals and things….

hmph.

Well at least I can let you all in on the deal. Enjoy it… since I can’t.

You’re welcome.

Jewel sandals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love, love, love these sandals from Bakers. The JEWEL also comes in black (which is the one that I recently purchased), but I think I like this color even more. It’s perfect… all the flair and flash of a heel, but with the comfort of a flat sandal. You can’t get any better than that! But hurry up and get them if you’re interested. I got the black ones because the multi-color ones were completely sold out in the store at Pentagon City. $54.95

Sex = Life?

You are in life, what/who you are during sex. That’s not a direct quote, hence no quotations, but I remember seeing somewhere that Sigmund Freud said something to this effect.

Even if it’s not him, the idea still remains… and it’s an extremely interesting one… that you can read about HERE!!!!

We live in Dangerous Times…

I’m not sure if you’ve seen the news about the two American journalists who were captured arrested in North Korea and sentenced to 12 years of hard labor the other day for “grave crimes” against North Korea. If you haven’t, please read here and here.

What were these crimes, you ask? According the North Korean government, they included crossing into North Korean territory. Can you imagine someone crossing into the United States territory and President Obama ordering them to 12 years of hard labor as punishment? Ridiculous, right?

But the thing is… it’s really, unfortunately, not surprising when it comes to North Korea’s politics. The American powers- that -be seem to think that they are using these women as political chess pieces, so they can effectively negotiate themselves out of the shit storm they’ve created with their testing of nuclear weapons.

It’s probably going to be effective, too… because the last thing Obama and Clinton need are to not bring these women home safe and sound. President Carter made that mistake during his term, and even though he eventually was able to get the captives back, he was perceived as soft because it took too long. Some credit this with being one of the reasons Americans then gravitated to a hard nosed guy like Reagan. No one could ever say he was soft… on anything.

Speculation now seems to be that since the sentencing has occurred now, the North Koreans will be willing to negotiate with the likes of either Al Gore or Bill Richardson. Let’s hope so, because right now, it’s looking like there are some tough decisions coming up for this administration. And it doesn’t seem like they are going to get any easier any time soon. What do you all think? Do you see this getting better or worse?

Millionare Matchmaker

I know I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus, but I’m coming hard this week (only to disappear next week while I’m on vacation… but focus on the “I’m coming hard this week” part lol). Anyway, to kick it off… I had to share an interview I recently read that was with the famed Millionaire Matchmaker.

Here, she gives 6 mistakes women make when dating to Glamour. I can already tell you that I’ve been a victim of a few of them. How about you?

1. They go on too many unproductive dates.
“It’s better not to date unless you’re out of practice. If you know how to date, and you’re meeting losers, get off the market, and go into dating detox. Clean your energy up so those people don’t ask you out any more. The problem is we women are very impatient. We want it now. Instant gratification! Sometimes the best guys are worth waiting for. You might get one good date a year, versus 100 bad ones, but he’s worth it.” OH BOY, do I have a story to tell you guys! In fact, it’s coming this week… but needless to say, I learned the hard way how right she was about this one lol

2. They go out with their girlfriends in the hopes of meeting guys.
“When you’re with your girlfriends, you’re not approachable. They’re scared. Men are very timid. I have this theory: Women who travel in packs do not attract. Men who are quality aren’t going to go in there and ask you out while your girlfriends are standing right there — he could get shot down. So it’s a really good idea, at about 4 or 4:30 P.M., to go to the bar: Sit at the bar, have a cocktail, get an hors d’oeuvre, read a mutual-gender book like The Da Vinci Code, know the score on TV, and pretend you’re busy. You’re reading a book, you’re eating an hors d’oeuvre, you’re meeting a friend — and then you’re more approachable because you’re by yourself.”

3. They think a guy will always like them if he just gets to know them.
“A guy knows right away if he’s attracted to you or not. There’s no warming up. Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very slowly. They take in information; they decipher it and download it onto their computer. Men know in one second, yes or no.” Well, I’ve talked about this before… a guy knows what Category you fall into from the moment he meets you… not 10 weeks later. If he says he doesn’t know, that’s just the nice way of saying you’re not the one…

4. They overshare on the date.
“Women are so trusting that they tell too much information about themselves. They pump and dump — they baggage dump! They say, ‘Oh, I had two cocktails, I’m all relaxed, now he’s my best friend and I can tell him whatever I want.’ They’re nervous, they drink too much, and they tell their life story — and sometimes their life story is not a good story to tell.”

5. They don’t let the guy talk enough.
“The way you talk on a date should be like a tennis match, but the guy should talk three times as often. It should be 3:1. He volleys, volleys, volleys, now you talk. You can answer the question every time he volleys, but then you lead him with your question, and it should be topical to the conversation he’s having. You don’t say, ‘Hey, do you want to get married? Hey, what’s your ex-girlfriend like? Hey, are you a drinker?’ You don’t do that. You lead with what he’s talking about.”

6. They forget their manners.
“The key to a good date is to smile. Engage with eye contact. Let him lead and then you compliment little things along the way. If he orders the dessert and you guys share it, say, ‘Oh, this is the best chocolate mousse, I’m so glad you picked this.’ Manners are key. Most people do not have manners.”

What about you? Have you found yourself doing any of these? If so, please… share lol. I’ll be sharing my story soon, so really, it’s kind of only fair…. right?

Where there’s a L.A.M.B., there’s a way

Recently, I did a post about some really cute pumps that I mistakenly took for being the color brown. The horror, right?

Well… I just couldnt let that go, so I had to go on a search for some really cute brown heels. Here are a couple of my favs, starting with the L.A.M.B. Hip Camel Leather 4 inch peep toe heels. You can find them at Couture.zappos.com for $320

you also need to try the Giuseppe Zanotti brown tortouse print platform pumps at Bluefly for $476

or Steve Madden’s Dariaa pump $104

or even the BCBG Denay peep toe $60-85