SIGH Louisiana

Alright I just have to put this out there.

 

Yes, he’s my governor. No I didn’t vote for him. Yes, I still vote in Louisiana. Yes, New Orleans’ Democratic mayor, Ray Nagin, endorsed him. Yes, I think he’s an idiot.

But its okay, because at least he’s not alone. And actually, I think he’s more than an idiot. I think he’s all the things he tried to say about President Obama’s stimulus package. He’s irresponsible. He’s wasteful. And he’s definitely a pawn.

I mean, really. How does the governor of a state that was consistently dead last or in the bottom 5 in wealth and education and a host of other important factors (and this was BEFORE Katrina) have the gall, the absolute nerve to turn ANY money down?

And then how does that same governor, after attempting to turn down $98 million out of about $3.8 billion, (the biggest political bluff this year if you ask me), turn around and ask for Katrina aid? Seriously. Seriously???

Are you stupid? That would be like me being dead ass broke and needing to pay my rent. One of my friends says she’ll loan me the money to pay my rent and get myself afloat, as long as she sees I’m doing something to get a job and be able to make it on my own. I tell her, “you know what? Those stipulations are unfair, so instead off all the rent, I’d like you to loan me 90% of it and I still don’t plan on getting job. Oh, but while you’re at it, can you get me some shoes too?”

HELL NO!!! That’s what any of my friends would say and the fact that Jindal thinks he can get away with that mess is hilarious to me. EARTH to Jindal: you’re the governor of a state in peril! A state that had one of the highest rates of poverty and crime and since Katrina, has just kept the momentum going.

You don’t have the right to turn down what could potentially save some of these people. And how dare you think as governor that that should be your mission!

He’s proven to me once again why I was considered the militant girl in grad school. It’s comments like his that make me say comments like, “I don’t understand how any Black person can vote Republican and still look themselves in the mirror.” Except now I want to change that statement to just ‘any person’. And whats worse is that on a day where Louisiana’s culture is celebrated, yet misunderstood throughout the nation and the world, Jindal chose to bring another form of disgrace to our state. Havent we had enough of that? My thinking is YES WE HAVE.

Sorry yall. Just kinda had to get that out lol

Something New???

A funny thing happened as I perused the internet for black love movies the other day… (Don’t tell the po po, by the way), I was able to find almost every modern black love movie, except one.

You know the black movies I’m talking about.

Love Jones

Love and Basketball

The Wood

The Brothers

Deliver Us From Eva

Daddy’s Little Girls

You get my drift… Movies with Sanaa or Gabby, Idris, Morris Chestnut, or whoever the hot black actor is at the time. I was able to find all those with no problem… But couldn’t and still can’t find Something New.

Odd, right? I mean Sanaa Lathan was in it, so it shouldn’t be that hard to find… But it is, and I have a theory as to why.

For more… READ HERE! (sorry, I had to do it… lol)

Spoiler ALERT!

Yesterday, I received this one line message in my email:

Steve Madden is having a buy one get one 90 percent (yes I said 90) off sale, so make sure u hit them up!

of course, you know…. I had to share with you guys. I dont think you can get the sale online, since their online sale is still the 75% of clearance sale I told you guys about last weekend. So head to your local Steve Madden in the next couple days… and let me know the deal!

                          

Bad Boy Entertainment…

“Beside every Bad Boy, there is a Bad Girl.” ~ Bad Boy Entertainment (specifically, the Total “Can’t You See” video)

Over at HONEY, I did a posting about bad boys/celebrity guys who may or may not have lost their edge by recently cutting their hair. (Yes, shameless plug, but I’m okay with that! Lol) But as I was working on that posting, another question hit me. What is it about a man with edge? Whether you want to call it swag, pizazz, spunk, oomph, whatever… there’s something about that certain something that continues to draw women to these men.

So what is it?

Almost every girl I know will first of all probably deny this point. Most would tell you that they like the good guy, but they always find a way to put a caveat with that statement. They typically finish the statement with, “but not like a boring good guy,” or “but one with a little edge,” or anything similar to that. But what they don’t realize is that that caveat makes all the difference.

It proves a couple things.
1. It shows that our natural inclination is to associate good with boring. If this were not the case, a qualifier would never be needed. You don’t hear anyone say, “I like bad boys, but not boring ones,” do you? Of course you don’t! The assumption is that bad boys are inherently NOT boring.

2. The statements also show our desire for adventure. For the most part, my friends live very stable and straight-laced lives and while practically, a stable and straight-laced guy would probably more readily fit into their worlds, there’s a clear concern that there may be a lack of passion and fire in that relationship.

3. Which brings me to the most important point… every girl has a secret desire to be a bad girl.

So what do I really mean when I say bad boy? I don’t mean a guy out acting as a “street pharmacist” (although some women are drawn to them too), but typically I mean that guy who walks in a room and you can tell he has a bit of an edginess to him. Whether it’s that he’s a freak and you can tell by his demeanor and smile he’s gonna tear that BLEEP up, or that he’s got a little 50 cent in him, (Sidenote: I am about as far away from being a 50 fan as you can be, so please know that it pained me horribly to make that last comparison) we are consistently drawn in.  And the guys know it.

Lil Wayne
Luda
Jay
Trey Songz
Allen Iverson
Tupac
Idris Elba
Formerly Usher

All these men have it and know it. Its that thing. That “orange aura” as Dave Chapellewould say or that “ego” as Beyonce would say. It’s that something that makes them interesting and keeps us beside them, bringing out our bad girl persona and every woman’s desire for FLAIR! Now, you may not agree as to the men examples I chose… but you gotta admit my points are right, right ladies?

To Smooch or Not to Smooch

Have you ever been in a situation or known a guy who said he didn’t like to kiss? I’ve had a couple guy friends profess to me that they only kiss girlfriends, not women they simply have sex with. Why would someone view kissing as a more intimate expression than sex? Well… get ready for the answer… According to a recent yahoo article, a new study is showing that scientifically, men process bonding with kissing more than women do.

Interesting, right?

But if it’s true… and the people doing the study admit to more research being needed, it would explain comments like those we’ve become accustomed to from men. What’s funny is that this idea isn’t anything new. I remember the first time I ever heard about guys being selective about who they kiss. It was in either 7th or 8th grade and also, coincidentally, coincided with me finding out why Lil Kim had a rumor she needed to get her stomach pumped. I was horrified… and so confused! All I knew was that my guy friends kept saying they’d have sex with Lil Kim any day, but they’d never kiss her! EVER!

Now, clearly the reasons for their selective kissing in that instance are a little different than the ones brought out in this study, but it was the first time I’d even heard of people thinking something as simple as kissing meant…. more. Then, I grew older and hung out with more guys and the sentiment kept coming up in conversation. Many of them agreed that “they just weren’t going to go around kissing just any girl.” Well, how could that be, I wondered? These were the same guys who had no problem having sex with the same girls weeks, sometimes days after each other (hey, what can I say? I hung out with male whores… they kept me, or attempted to keep me from dating their kind lol) and yet, they were concerned about a little kiss?!?!?!

A kiss? We’re talking about a kiss here!? A kiss… not sex, but a kiss?!?! (shoutout to AI real quick!) The same thing that people did in junior high school when they were playing spin the bottle or hide and go get it? A kiss… the guys were selective about who they kissed, but not who they slid their members into. It boggled my mind. Seriously.

Until one of my guy friends finally broke it down for me… for those guys who were selective, it was because to them, kissing was more intimate, he said. Kissing intimated a bond with that person; that there was more than just a physical connection with that person. And while kissing for me was innocent and simple, for them, it signified relationship. Okay, I thought… well there are things in life that I could equate that to. I, for one, think that cuddling is extremely intimate. I wont do it with just anyone and for the times that I’ve been put in a situation where the guy wanted to cuddle and I didn’t, it was really really awkward. All I kept thinking was, “hey buddy! we’re not there yet! you can’t just let ANYONE hold you! now, please… get off me! lol”

Okay, that may be a slight dramatization… welllll, actually it’s not, I really am that passionate about cuddling. But realizing that guys could legitimately feel the same way about kissing still seemed rather odd to me… until I saw the article. And it showed how most guys dont even realize that they equate kissing with bonding, they just do… and it may be why they naturally run away from it if they’re not feeling you in more than a physical way. It’s instinct for them.

Which I guess makes it slightly less insulting if you’re a woman who’s ever gone in to kiss a guy and had him turn his face, only to start kissing you elsewhere…. I guess it just shows you where you stand.

Sweet like HONEY!

 

Y’all remember Honey Magazine????? I certainly do… and I also remember being soo SAD when they folded. It’s the same way I felt when Vibe Vixen went down as well… I mean, damn! Can we please have an “urban” magazine that caters to a younger woman audience??? I love Essence like the next girl, but sometimes I want to read the kind of stuff that’s in Cosmo and Glamour and Marie Claire… and many times, they just dont quite understand our culture when it comes to sex, relationships, fashion, and politics.

 

That’s why I am sooooo happy to tell y’all that Honey is BACK! Not only are they back, but your girl is blogging for them!!! Wooo hooo!!!!! (Veronica inspired me with her multiple blogs, what can I say?! lol)… Anyway, please check me out whenever you get a chance. Stay reading this site, because trust, the posting will still continue here, but you know… head over there sometimes too!

 

The link: http://www.honeymag.com/group/blogs/view.castle?g=782269

 

Love ya!!!!!!!

Steve Madden’s Valentine’s Gift to you…

Treats for my Sweets (ie my readers)…

also known as….

HAPPY Early Valentines DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The last couple years of Valentine’s Days have been fairly non-romantic for me. During some of them, I had someone in my life… but he wasnt exactly Valentine’s material. During one, I was just plain single, and during another, I’d recently lost a boyfriend and wasnt particularly in the mood to celebrate love. And yet, each time it came around, something in me perked up and wanted to do….. something.

I guess this is where I should admit that I’m a holiday person. I love holidays, birthdays, celebrations in general. I like the idea of celebrating the people you love/enjoy in your life on a special day, even though I do it with them everyday. So even though, several close friends of mine are anti-Valentines for their own valid reasons, I. am. not. Not even close.

I’m one of those people that takes the time to paint my nails red and white (and dont judge me, but this year, I’m thinking of seeing how I can paint hearts on my nails). One of those people that when single, takes the day to pamper myself, listen to mood music, and just have a great time celebrating my love… FOR ME!!! And I’m also one of those people when I’m with someone, I just love spending time with them on that day… it’s not about monetary things for me on Valentine’s (nor any other celebratory day). I like thoughtful things… and as one of my co-workers said to me today, it’s about doing something that means something to you for someone else.

What does that mean, right? For example, let’s say I was dating Baby (shout out to Leah and CCB lol) and he bought me a diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day…. I probably wouldnt think that necklace is all that special because he can do that and probably has done that for just anyone. BUT… if he chose to fly home and spend a quiet night home with me, that would be special because that would probably be something we dont do very often.

Anyway, with all that said… and keeping all those thoughts in mind, I wanted to do something to celebrate the love I have for my readers. You guys keep me going and keep me inspired on numerous occassions. Sure, not all of you comment (ahem lol) or you comment on places other than the blog (double ahem lol), BUT with the help of the beautiful stats section on wordpress… I know you’re here (and hopefully reading everytime you come back. that one gets no lol, because I’m serious). But the question remained, what could I do, that was meaningful, that really showed my appreciation for each and every one of you.

I can’t give each and every one of you a massage… although if I could, you would love me forever, cuz your girl is SICK with her hands (thankyouverymuch lol). I can’t kiss you all, I can’t spend time with you, and I can’t buy you gifts… so what can I do????

Write.

On a night when the last thing that I wanted to do was write, thats what I did Thursday night so that I could give you all a post on Friday. It’s simple, but meaningful, because it’s also indicative of my promise to continue writing, even on days when I dont want to, even on days when all I want to do is crawl in the bed and snuggle with Bobby the bear, I will write… because the thousands of people that have visited this blog so far mean so much to me. I appreciate yall.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Oh and feel free to go here… if you want to see one of my earlier blog posts about Valentine’s Day and a bonus “mellow moods” playlist for the lovers out there! LMAO!

Grammy Gems

A look at some of the shoes I thought were bangin’ at the Grammy’s… (please note all pictures are from Theybf.com)

 LeToya rocked some pretty cute Christian Louboutins.

 Keyshia Cole followed suit with the red-bottom theme. These remind me a lot of the Christmas ones with the bow…

 Not sure what designer made these, but Raz B’s boo surely put her good foot forward lol… sorry, that was corny, but I had to do it

 Okay, Tracee Ellis Ross!!!!! Let me find these in an affordable price, just let me, and see what happens! lol

 These though, that Taraji Henson (Bison!) had on… I’d almost be willing to pay full price for these… yep, that means my first born child would be the property of whatever designer created these babies.

What do you guys think? And did I miss any others that sparkled on the runway red carpet?

Never Ever

“If that boy dont love you by now, he will never ever, never ever love you.”

You know what’s funny, up until this song, I was definitely feeling like my boy Mike about Ciara when he said she needed to find her voice in music. I’m not saying she’s found it yet, but she’s certainly helped me with another topic for the blog and hey, thats always a plus in my book. lol

It’s an interesting concept, really. And not one that I can say I’m unfamiliar with. Let me get a little personal with yall. There once was this boy that I loved, only problem was that I felt he cared for me… clearly not the same, right? Anyway, we got into an interesting conversation one night, where I basically told him something very similar to Ciara’s chant in this song… that he hadnt fallen in love with me by then, so I knew he never would. This same boy looked at me as if I was crazy. Afterall, how could I tell him what feelings he would have and how his would grow.

But really, as I told him and I believe Ciara means the same thing in this song, it’s not whether his feelings would grow, it’s that I had finally decided to stop waiting and realized whatever his feelings would be, they wouldnt be good enough for me. He would never ever love me like I wanted him to. I bring this topic up because it seems to be prevalent in our discussions lately these days, with Ciara’s song and now with He’s Just Not THAT into You opening this weekend. (Side note: every woman, and I mean every woman, should either read the book or movie at some point in your life. Yes, it doesnt allow for grey situations, but it will stop you from giving those lame excuses women give about men all the time.)

In the movie (and book), they give examples of when you should just resign yourself to the fact that a relationship between you and the guy isnt going to happen. If he isnt calling, if he isnt asking you out (ie pursuing you), and if he’s married… chances are you’re not the one for him. Really, more accurately their point is that if the rule is 9 out of 10 times you’re not the one for him, expect to be the rule and not the exception.

That’s a hard stance for a lot of us to take. Women these days are being told to be more aggressive and go for theirs. Heck, I’ve even lauded the benefits of women come hithering men instead of the other way around lol. But I dont think thats what the book, the movie, or the song means. I think they’re all trying to say the same thing: if the signs point to him giving you so-called mixed messages or you dont understand where you stand with this man, the reality is that you do. One of my cousins told me a couple years ago (after the situation I talked about above) that if a man wants you, he’s going to make damn sure that no one has the opportunity to be with you, but him. And no excuse possible will stop that (unless you dont want him back, of course lol). Oh, but if he really doesnt want you… he will never ever want you, and you should move on.

What do you guys think? Is this the rule when it comes to dating? Or just a bunch of poppy cock in the long line of poppy cock out there?