Twelve Days of Christmas…

the Got Sole way!

Really, I saw that Destiny’s Child video the other day and thought to myself, shoot… Got Sole can soooo do a better version than that! So without further ado, here ya go!

On the First Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me  Some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Second Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 2 Trips to Tiff & Co.  and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Third Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 3  forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Fourth Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Fifth Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 6 Best Friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties.  On the Seventh Day of Christmas my true love sent to me 7 nights of cuddling, 6 best friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Eight Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 8 years of Barack in office, 7 nights of cuddling, 6 best friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Ninth Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 9 Days in Italy, 8 years of Barack in office, 7 nights of cuddling, 6 best friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 10 blog comments on a post, 9 Days in Italy, 8 years of Barack in office, 7 nights of cuddling, 6 best friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 11 man hugs, 10 blog comments on a post, 9 Days in Italy, 8 years of Barack in office, 7 nights of cuddling, 6 best friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties. On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love sent to me 12 gift cards to Sephora, 11 man hugs, 10 blog comments on a post, 9 Days in Italy, 8 years of Barack in office, 7 nights of cuddling, 6 best friends, 5 all day passes to Watermelon Land, 4 Ciroc Pineapples, 3 forehead kisses, 2 trips to Tiff & Co, and some Christian Louboutin booties.

Alright guys, I’m not sure how much more posting will be occurring during the Christmas holiday… so if I dont post before Christmas… Merry Christmas!!!! Bobby looooves ya!

Why Pay More…

when you can Payless?

I saw these shoes on a random run to Target the other day (there’s a Payless shoe store right next to the Target), tried them on… fell in love and on my way to the register, saw the price. Hmmm, I just felt some type of way about spending $40 on shoes from Payless when CCB just got some for $6! Well, anyway… I put them back, but I am pretty confident that I may end up going back to get them. They’re just so comfortable and cute! And I love when shoes can go with many different outfits: here you’ve got blue, purple, black, white and grey. You can get Abaeté’s Devon Ribbon Wedge for $38 at your local Payless Shoe Source.

Memo to My Bruthas

Texting is NOT how you get to know someone.

You would think this would be an obvious assertion, right? You’d be wrong. Over the past couple months, my friends and I have unwittingly found ourselves in text-land. Its like the freaking twilight zone!

Here’s how the typical interaction goes: Girl meets boy, girl gives boy her number, waits the expected yet stupid amount of days that guys wait to call… But instead of a call on that 2nd or 3rd day, she receives a text message. Really? A text message? What part of the game is that?!

Now, the message can range in length but is usually fairly simple. “Hey,” or “what’s up ma” or maybe even an “how are you?” will randomly come through one day, no name or other signifying character attached. It is then up to the woman, I suppose, to ask who the hell is texting her, at which point the guy informs her (as if she was supposed to know from the beginning) and then proceeds to try and hold a conversation over text message.

Ummmmm, I’m sorry, but that gets a big fat ass hell NO!

The first time it happened, I thought the guy was just weird, but harmless and after being slightly stalked by jeepers creepers, that was welcoming. But what I wasn’t going to do was entertain the madness, so slowly the text messages ended. The same happened with my girl, S Curl… She met a guy who refused to call her (he said calling was a big step for him), but he would text her constantly. Something just seems funny about that to me.

Thinking these 2 losers were the exceptions, I continued on. Until I spoke with more of my friends and finally came to the conclusion that this shit was the new trend! So really… I’m truly confused. What part of the game is this? You know, I’m not opposed to a lil texting every once in awhile. Heck, I keep in touch with a good number of friends through a good Blackberry ping or two… BUT I know these people already.

Fellas… Thoughts: were these guys the exception or is this becoming a trend? Ladies, how long would you entertain a guy who texted you constantly but didn’t call? And would you start assuming he had some things he wanted to hide…

Ultimate Insults

Now that we’ve recently learned (for those of us who didnt know before) that the throwing of one’s shoe is an ultimate insult in Iraq, I thought about what might be some other expressions that could be considered ultimate insults. In other words, what would these people hurl at someone in disgust.

 

Jay Z? He might throw a bottle of Cristal your way, or you know since he’s hip hop, he might just hit you upside the head with it. But either way, you get the point. Jay doesnt like Cristal anymore (after he found out about the disparaging comments they made about Black people), so as an ultimate insult… you might want to duck from the glass bottle. Yes, Dame Dash… you should be especially concerned. C. Delores Tucker (before she died)? Tupac’s All Eyez on Me CD. We all know she despised this man… so it wouldnt have taken much out of her to pitch this insult of a cd your way if she caught you doing something she didnt like. C’mon… you know you could see it. Samuel L. Jackson? Ludacris… yes, I realize Luda is an actual person… but he’s short enough for Samuel L. to toss him at someone, and plus Luda Christopher Bridges represents what Samuel L. claims he hates the most: rappers getting actors’ jobs. As a matter of fact, he might be able to toss T.I. too as long as he doesnt have too many guns on him to weigh him down. Oh that was wrong, huh? Not as wrong as him calling Tiny a situation (yea, I still haven’t forgotten that.) Bill Gates? Internet Explorer (if it was tangible, he’d soooo throw this thing at his latest enemy). I mean, just how many potentially deadly flaws can one browser have? Well… IE is certainly trying to find out and you have to know it’s given the Gates man a HUGE headache right now. If he could toss that thing at someone, say I dont know, George Bush… I think he just might do it. Sarah Palin? A book… I mean, she doesnt read them, so she’d have to pick it up for some reason, right? What better reason than to toss at your head?

What about you, dear reader? What would you toss at someone as the ultimate insult and why?

Best (and Worst) Ways to Break-up

Soooooo, I’ve been in my fair share of break-ups. Some that I’ve initiated and some that were initiated onto me. And I’ve been witness (albeit not physically) to some of my friend’s break-ups and I have to say, there really are some ways that can make even the worst break-up better… and unfortunately, can make the most obvious break-up WORSE.

Here’s some ways that “research” says to go about breaking up with someone in a civil manner (AND some not so good ways in red to the side of the good ways). I know what you’re thinking… how can breaking-up ever be okay if you’re the one being dealt the deed? Well, it might not be okay… but it doesn’t have to feel like someone ran you over with an Amtrak train, got some elephants and had them stomp on you, got a vampire to pull your heart out and suck all the blood and then place it back into your body, lifeless. As Marie Claire says, “Breaking up is a selfish act that can be a necessary evil in your dating life. But there are easier ways to do the whole process.”

1. Be Honest: I know we like to sugar coat things sometimes (especially if you still somewhat care for the person), but the last thing you want is a situation where your sugar coating does not get the correct message across. For example, Brandy* (someone I know who’s name will remain anonymous) attempted to break up with her boyfriend, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings about it. So instead of admitting that she just no longer wanted to be with him, she told him that she just wanted some time to herself. Well, needless to say, when Brandy started dating other guys not a month after her break-up, the guy didn’t understand and was even more hurt than if she would have told the truth from the beginning. It caused waaaay more drama than was necessary.

(Now, there is a difference between being honest and just being downright mean! No one is saying you have to start telling the guy or girl everything you ever thought was wrong with them. And this is not your chance to dig as many daggers as possible. Yes, that means no jabs about the man’s penis or sexual appetite, ladies. And guys, that means, this isnt your chance to tell her how fat you think she is. Honest does not equal crass.)

2. Make it Fast: Okay, I get it. You dont know what to say, you’re not sure if you really want to end it or if you just want a break. You’re not happy and dont feel like dealing with his or her bs anymore, but you’ve been together for awhile… soooo you let it drag on and on and on. And next thing you know, it’s been months since you originally decided this thing needs to end. The real deal is that if you ever had any feeling for the person, you owe them the courtesy of not leading them on, thinking they’re in something good when you KNOW you want it done. Plus, just from a practical standpoint… once again, it’s far less drama if you just get it done when it should be done.

But don’t be dumb… make it fast is not the same as “shake it fast,” so probably emailing a dear John/Jessica letter is not the way to go just because you want to get it over with. And please, by all means… don’t text it or im it either. We are the technology generation, but somethings should just not be done. No one wants to get on facebook and see a message from their significant other, saying “I’m done” on their wall. Ugh… how embarrassing would that be! In the same vein, you may want to be mindful of the timing as well. Yeah, you shouldn’t prolong a relationship, but maybe breaking up the day before Christmas isn’t the way to go, no matter how immediate it may seem at the time.

3. Set Break Up Rules/Stick With Them: No, y’all cannot be friends still. If thats how you feel, and if your relationship was fairly deep, it’s probably how you should feel… you have to stick to it. Even when situations occur that would normally draw you back to that person. Even when something happens and you want to call him or her because that’s the natural first person you would call to share in your excitement or comfort you from the hurt. You set the rules from the beginning, whatever they may be… and stick with them.

Being a flip-flopper isn’t cute in general… but especially not in relationships. In relationships, you’re pretty much in a say what you mean type of situation or you will find out (probably the hard way) that the person will no longer believe you when you try to set rules again. Kim* found herself in this type of problem. Over and over, she allowed herself to let her ex back in her life, let him call her consistently, let him visit her… and finally when she’d really had enough, he didnt believe her. And it took her another couple months to truly rid him from her life because she hadnt stuck to her rules from the beginning. Don’t be like Kim, ladies.

4. Do it at a neutral site: Again, this neutral site is not a social networking site, such as Facebook or Myspace. It just means that while you may think breaking up in one’s home is the best place to do it, it’s not. If it’s at your home, you then have to try and make him/her leave afterwards (and we don’t want a dragging out of the house experience occurring here– a la Diary of a Mad Black Woman). And if it’s at the other person’s home… you’re not on their territory.

Let’s discuss the idea of a neutral site here for a second, though. Just because it’s not at your home or his home, doesn’t mean it’s a neutral site. Some places that may not be neutral sites/best places to break up with someone: a wedding, their grandmother’s house, a house party in front of all your friends. Basically what I’m saying is that if someone breaks up with you immediately after watching your godchild get Christened at church, you have every right to slam their foot in the door. HARD.

What do you guys think? Have we missed any steadfast rules? And how fast would you get out your knife to cut someone (figuratively speaking of course) if they did some of those things to you that are on the worst ways list?

Age-old Debate

Can sex be just as fulfilling when you’re not in love?

We see the articles in magazines constantly. Titles like in the new Glamour, “Great Sex for Every Woman.” We see shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Sex and the City who promote (without reaaaally promoting) the idea of casual sex for women. And yet, as much as my friends and I aren’t opposed to random (safe) sex [RSS], most would admit that if they had to put their guys in a list (and 90% already have, trust me LOL), the ones at the top of the chart were guys they had true feelings for. Now, this is not saying there aren’t exceptions. If there weren’t, I think we’d all be less inclined to believe in RSS… but since we do, deduction would lead you to believe there are guys who might make the top 5 who we weren’t in love with.

Chances are just as great, however… that RSS guy is not and will never be able to reach number one. And if that’s the case, then the question becomes: is a woman settling in sexual fulfilment if she is not in love with the person she is having sex with? I can think of a few arguments for either side. Follow me here…

Argument: Women have to have feelings for the person to achieve full sexual satisfaction.

– If you have feelings for the person, chances are that your chemistry is already on point. And since sex is just as much about chemistry as it is about mechanics, regardless of how many positions he can throw you into, the chemistry will be amazing and thus the sex will be amazing. Take Meredith on Grey’s Anatomy for example… she LOOVES random sex, but you know who she loves having sex with the most? The man she’s in love with… Derek. Does that mean he’s the best using physical standards? Probably not… but that emotional connection outweighs all the other stuff.

– Also, a woman is more likely to be less inhibited and feel more comfortable with someone she has feelings for… therefore, making the sex pretty darn great. Think about if the woman is naturally shy. Chances are that’s not going to change for some RSS guy… but with her man, she’s probably more likely to loosen up… even without the help of some Patron.

– The people having sex will be more inclined to want to please each other (and not just go for their own satisfaction) if they have feelings for each other, a definite plus for the woman.

Argument: What’s Love Got to Do With It

– Ummm, you do NOT have to love someone to have intense, back breaking, mind blowing, quiver worthy flashback chemistry with them. Therefore, while chemistry could be considered a requirement, chemistry doesnt = love. It means the two people have a connection, which can be strictly physical. And further more, it certainly DOES matter how many positions he can throw you into… a one trick pony dont win no race (remember that fellas lol)

– It’s a very dangerous assumption that someone would be more comfortable with a person they love. Often times in on-stage performances, people admit to feeling more comfortable in front of audiences that they don’t know as opposed to an audience of their closest loved ones. And since sex could very well be considered a performace, the same situation could apply. Not saying it does… just saying that it could.

– A person doesnt have to be in love to want to please their partner. I mean, like Katt Williams said… it’s 2008, do we still have men on that “you better get yours cuz I’m gettin mine kick?” Really?! Really, do we?! If so, they should kill themselves… really. Well, not really… but they should be banned from all sexual activities. Then you won’t have to worry about this caveat of the argument.

Alright ladies, what do you think? What part of the argument do you fall under? And what would you add to the “debate”? Fellas… what do you think? Do these same arguments apply for yall. Why or why not?

Politics through the eyes of a Lens

I know a lot of people were trying to compile pictures and such together to commemorate the election after Obama won, so for those that were or wanted to, but didnt think they’d actually do it (lol)… here’s the book for you. Scout Tufankjian followed the President-Elect for 2 years snapping photo after photo of him, reactions to him, and everything else surrounding this campaign. And after she’d compiled over several thousand photos, she somehow found a way to wittle it down to about 200.

It’s the ultimate coffee table book, filled with photos you may not have seen already and photos you can remember with friends and commentary from the photographer herself. She fills the book with enlightening stories and apparently has made Yes We Can a page turner. So if you’re looking for something like that… you should probably pick up a copy from your nearest bookstore/Amazon website.  And then, you know… pick up another copy for say a friend who put you on to it in the first place (wink, wink lol).

Some photos from the book:

Made 4 Walking-boots!

Cute. Casual. Flat. Fantastic. These boots are the perfect comfort version of a sleek knee/calf-high boot. The Winona boot from Bakers will have you walking with the strut of a heel but the comfort of a flat. What’s better than that, really? Made with real leather, this pull-on slouch boot might even be the perfect stocking stuffer, as its currently on sale for $79.99. Comes in two colors: natural and black.

Christmas Bapes?

 So technically, I suppose that they’re not Christmas sneakers… but I mean, they’re red and green… so thats enough for me! LOL. Now, I’m not really a sneaker person, but if I were, these might be a cute little find. Paired with a cute Christmas outfit (but no reindeer sweatshirt, thats just crossing the line), this could be the cute tomboy version of the Louboutins. Only $89.95

Got Sole’s Christmas Playlist

Sure you could listen/buy any of the gazillion Christmas CD’s they’re selling on the tv and in the stores these days. But why do that when you can just listen to your own Got Sole’s Christmas Playlist.  (click on the pop-out player icon and the music will take you to another place). Enjoy!

Songs List

Christmas Time is Here: Charlie Brown & Friends

Angels We have Heard on High: Christina Aguilera

O Holy Night: Mariah Carey

Let it Snow: Boyz II Men

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: Babyface

It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas

Sleigh Ride (Very Merry Christmas): TLC

We Wish You a Merry Christmas: Sesame Street

All I Want for Christmas: Mariah Carey

The Christmas Song: *NSYNC

Joy to the World: Whitney Houston

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Andy Williams

White Christmas: Louis Armstrong

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: The Jackson 5

O Christmas Tree: Charlie Brown & Friends

Holly Jolly Christmas: Burl Ives

Frosty the Snowman: Disney

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer: Smiley Burnette

The Chipmunk Song(Christmas Don’t be Late): Alvin & the Chipmunks

Deck the Halls: John Denver & the Muppets

Jingle Bell Rock

Santa Baby: Eartha Kitt

Miss You Most (at Christmas Time): Mariah Carey

O Come All Ye Faithful: Take 6

What Child is This

Away in a Manger

The First Noel: *NSYNC

Silent Night: Temptations

Am I missing anything????