Okay guys, here’s the thing… I have this cuh-razy fascination with straight white teeth! Like. No. Jo
ke. It’s something about it them. I know what you’re thinking, who doesnt like straight white teeth, right? But see, thats the thing… it’s not an overlooked preference for me… it’s a necessity. And the more I’ve come to think about things I want in men, the more I know that straight white teeth is almost becoming a deal breaker.
Case in point: I met this guy last week. Cute. Nice. Swag was a little less than a trillion, but for a random possible date, he was definitely a strong possibility. So, I did what any single gal would do in my position when he asked for my number. I gave it to him.
And then he smiled. Ohhhhh he smiled. Let me tell you, it was not a pretty sight. I dont think that it was the most hideous thing by far, but I literally cannnot tell you ANYTHING that he said that day because my brain could no longer focus on anything but his teeth. How not straight they were. How the bottom front row kind of jumbled together. How they were (GASP) horror of all horros, not quiiiiiiiiite white???? I actually wondered if I could ask for my number back without getting clocked upside the head (I mean, this is DC yall).
Anyway, as a few days went by, I debated on whether or not something like this should be a deal breaker 
for me. I mean, maybe he could be going to the dentist the very next day or something, right? And who knows, maybe in some sick weird karmic world, I was destined to be with a man who would slice me open while eating watermelon (OUCH!)… but then, I remembered awww heck naw! I can demand straight white teeth… I have them myself, so I think at the least, the man should as well!
Plus, c’mon ladies… how many more things can make you melt other than a great smile from a guy with beautiful straight white teeth??? A Black man with that… (of course just my preference, not necessarily yours) is like the sprinkles on top of the icing on the cake. I’m getting all giddy just thinking about it! Dont jud
ge me. I told yall I had it bad.
But I always have. CCB’s thing is swag + athletes, and while I do enjoy a swaggerific man who can command the room when he walks in, for me… part of that command is those 2 lips gathered up in the most precious smile, lighting up the room with his STRAIGHT WHITE TEETH (SWT). lol. I could go down the list of guys I’ve been with (the serious list… anything else might take too long and yall would get bored lol. no. really.)
“Jon Jon”: gorgeous smile. He could make me un-angry (yeah I made it up) with him just by smiling. I was sprung off of that smile from the moment we met…. SWT for him = check
“BJ”: this was one of his greatest qualities… say what you want about the man, he had a killer smile. SWT for him = check
“Jake”: he’s ALWAYS smiling… well, when not in a serious business mode… and his smile is so captivating! Makes me want to just lick his teeth! lol SWT= check
Montana: gorgeous dark skin guy with bright SWT = check
Down and down the list, you’d see that NEVER have I EVER dated anyone without it. And for some reason, I hadnt caught that until this guy. So I say all that to say, I urge you to take a second to
think about some inadvertent deal breakers that you may have (and then post them in the comment section here of course! 
)… you’d be surprised at how easily they start to pile up. Once you’ve done that… stick to them PLEASE!
Or you might end up like me, being called 8 TIMES in one night by the jeepers creepers with crooked yellow teeth out to get YOU! AAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! My brother hates you at this very moment because I am dying from laughing so hard so early in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sliced open while eating watermelon = I hate you!
BJ = I hate you!
2 lips gathered in the most precious smile = I hate you!
Never have I ever = I hate you!
Title: Jeeper Creepers = I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, my deal breaker is definitely smelling bad. I had this conversation with Denny the other night. Not just B.O. but anything stinky – i.e. cheap cologne. B/c if you’re cologne smells bad, that means you’re not really into taking care of yourself. So fellas, step your game up, throw away that bottle of Stetson and go get some CK Obsession and a bottle of degree deodorant!
HA HA HA AH… always glad to keep you entertained!!!
And I would definitely have to concur on the smelly cologne… bathing in a scent is just NEVER a good thing. We discussed the essential points this weekend. lol… Behind the ears, wrists, a squirt “here” and a squirt “there” LOL… for guys, I’m thinking neck, and the last 2! maybe????
Yeah, it would be questionable if a guy squirted his wrists or behind his ears.
Okay, wait, hold on… slice me open while eating watermelon? Really? REALLY?! You’re out of order. Lmao!
So, deal-breakers, huh? Hmmm… Now that I’m sitting here REALLY thinking about it, I realized that I’ll write a dude off based on how he’s dressed. Not that he has to be in Brooks Brothers or anything, but he has to look like he has a job and some responsibilities in life. Meaning a white tee and baggy jeans just won’t do… unless maybe he’s carrying some kind of bag indicating he, in fact, is actually on his way somewhere.
Also — and I hate to say it — but if he isn’t quite articulate… bets are off. And now I’m kinda queasy writing that (god forbid, I’m ‘elitist’), but my life revolves around words — written and otherwise. So if I can’t quite grasp what’s coming out of your mouth… or you can’t comprehend what’s coming out of mine… it’s not going to work. Sorry. :-/
HA HA HA HA…. I dont even have words to respond to you telling me I’m out of order… cuz I was. But it’s a TRUE concern!!!!! LOL
I kinda sorta feel you on the dressed up thing… BUT sometimes, a FOINE guy in a tank top and some basketball shorts! WHOOO!
and dont you feel bad about your word requirement… like you said, words are your life, can you really be expected to like dudes like Creepa on Gs to Gents???
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