Quick Note guys: I may or may not be able to post ANYTHING this weekend, hence I have
taken the time to write out 3 posts today (1 for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday). See below this one for the 3…
Enjoy your Labor Day Weekends!!!!! (and feel free to go and comment on all the ones you havent had time to before 
)
Love ya!!!!!!!
A sexual signature is a woman’s personally distinct sex move — the kind of maneuver that puts a kink in a guy’s mental tubing, so he thinks about it hours, days, years later, during office daydreams or in long lines at the market. A signature is the difference between sex that’s gold-medal memorable or yellow-light forgettable. ~ Cosmopolitan in the article, “Your Sexual Signature.”
Everyone thinks that they’re probably the best ISH there is in bed. Right? Well, according to Cosmo, Men’s Health, and a few other sources, one of the keys to that being even slightly true is having a signature move. A couple months ago, I never would have believed that. I would have taken those statements as just what magazines do to try and get people to continue to purchase their magazine, in search of that amazing sex move they can offer you. Part of me still believes thats the case with Cosmo, but thats neither here nor there.
The point is: I’ve been called a lame guys, because I didnt have one (well not necessarily called one, per se… but it felt like it) and then had it confirmed by my good friend, CCB. Maybe you’re like me. You’ve been going through life thinking, “hey, you know what? I may not be the experimental Kim Kardashian of sex, but what I do, I do well. “
Well… now’s the time to stop that thinking. Or you might end up having a conversation where the guy asks you to do your signature move and you’re looking like a deer caught in headlights… cuz guess what? You never thought of one.
That’s where I was. So being me, I started analyzing it. “Well, did I in fact, have one and just hadnt coined it my signature move?” I thought. Using CCb as consultation, she thoroughly shut down one move, saying too many people did it… and sorta kinda approved the other one, but with much hesitation. So in the theme of our 9 things in ‘09, I decided that one of my things would be to figure out my move. Dont laugh. It’s not funny.
But here’s where you come in. Do you think a signature move is something every person should have 
or is it simply a ploy to make the entire nation more freaky? And if you do think its necessary, how dramatic should it be?
Men’s Health says: Every man ought to do at least one thing really, really well. Some suggestions they give are: the precoital massage, the neck bite, the figure-8 tongue technique, and latin-style thrusting. But all of these seem sooooo ordinary, right? I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with them… but what guy doesnt do them?! Well, I dont know about the latin-style thrusting, but you know what I mean lol.
And if they can get away with such ordinary “signature moves,” I’m going to need Cosmo not to be telling me to bend my back in 5 different ways to make sure that I make a lasting impression. Hmmph. I juuuuuuust dont know how I feel about.
Ummmm at some point, this whole BIG flower phenomenon from Sex and the City has GOT to stop! Now, at first glance…. maaaaaybe you could do something with this. You know, wear all white or all black and have the shoe be an accent, but not really. It’s just something soooo BIG about this dang FLOWER! I dont know… you tell me. Would you buy it?
These are the numbers I have tattooed on my back. Last year, in December, I decided to go ahead and get two tattoos. One of them would be those five numbers, the symbol of the fleur de lis below it, and below that, my favorite scripture… Psalm 23.
The numbers represent the date of Hurricane Katrina. The fleur de lis represents my city (it’s our 
symbol)… so for me, it represents HOME. And the scripture is one that during Katrina, I really had the opportunity to study. Granted, it’s a very known scripture (almost cliche), but I think that really analyzing it and studying it, it showed me just how important it is/was to lean on God, especially when you dont think you’re strong enough to handle something. He can be there to comfort you and to guide you out of the Valley.. but that also, it didnt mean you wouldnt go through the valley, just that you would come out stronger.
Part of the reason I got it is because it symolized an event that pretty much shook my whole world, my whole understanding of home, and changed so much for so many people (and I dont even consider myself one of the people who had it bad). It was my way of saying that I will never forget. And getting it on my back was my way of saying that although it was “behind” me, it still continued to push me (all 3 things) into being better and doing more for my community.
But just like, in CCB’s post about things not going away, Katrina. Will. Not. Die. On the 3rd anniversary of this storm (today), New Orleans is bracing for another storm that seems to be following a similar path… and I dont think anyone believes that those levees are ready to handle that if it indeed does occur. More importantly, I dont think the people who’d come back and have been trying to rebuild all these last 3 years are prepared for what might happen if it follows that path.
I’ve been speaking with family members of mine… and the sentiment seems to be somewhere along the lines of, “I know I was one of those people that said you had to come back if you could, but… if something else happens… I just dont think I could do it again.” And thats understandable. But so sad. I know people who’ve just finished rebuilding their homes, just moved in a couple months ago… and now they’re packing up again… bracing for the unknown. Again.
I know people who were just talking about coming back and trying to make it work, but with this storm looming, their doubts have been fulfilled all over again.
I know people who have children and pets that still cry when it rains (a normal rain), so they’re in panic mode right now.
And sadly, I know people who are just tired. They’re tired of feeling like they’re doing it on their own. They’re tired of feeling like the government doesnt care that they’re back. And they’re tired of hoping and wishing and praying that this time, this summer, they wont have to worry about it. And Gustav isnt making it easier.
On the eve of the anniversary of Katrina, I found myself telling many of family members to just hold on and discussing with them the scripture that I have on my back. But even I, listening to them, questioned whether it was worth it or not anymore.
I always said I wanted to move back home in about 5 years… now, I dont quite know anymore.
“I looooove Joe Biden… and America will too!”
Oh Bill. I love you too.. cuz you’re such a liar (lol). No. Really. 
Listening to all the speeches so far, you’d think the Democrats were really trying to put on a Unity Convention (Part 2) [pundits be damned of course! lmao]. They’ve done everything but sing Kumbaya to try and convince us all that somehow, someway… the Democrats are truly unified. CNN and MSNBC have interviewed Hillary stans who went from hating Barack Obama to pledging their allegiance to him… all in ONE DAY! OMG! and guess what?!? It was allllllllllllll because of the GENIUS of Hillary Clinton. And her speech. And her conclusion that they’d be idiots to go from voting for her to voting for McCain (now, of course this is something we’ve all known for awhile now… buuuuuuut, you know it takes some people a little longer to catch on to things.)
Clinton applauded Biden, Biden applauded Billary, Ted Kennedy spoke, Michelle Obama applauded them all… and Jon Edwards was no where to be found. It’s been a regular ol’ All in the Family reunion. Never mind that just a couple weeks ago, people were saying that Bill was still holding a grudge about the campaign. Nevermind that news reports are still coming out about people being salty that 
Obama picked Biden over Hillary. And ESPECIALLY never mind those pesky ads that John McCain has been bringing out with Hillary’s words biting Barack in the bootay.
We’re supposed to believe that none of that matters now. We’re SUPPOSED to believe that all is well. By gones are by gones. The Comeback Kid and Baracka are BFFs now. Well, maybe they are. And maybe my noted cynicism is raring its ugly head again….. but I doubt it.
What I do believe, is that somewhere along the lines, people realized, “If we dont get this mess together or at least give the perception that we have, McCain’s gonna win,” and no matter what other things they disagree about, thats the one thing they agree on.
“That’s the America we’re going to continue to get if George, excuse me… John McCain is elected president… freudian slip! Freudian slip!” ~Joe Biden
And that’s pretty much been the theme so far: “Look, I know we dont ALL like each other, but can we at least pretend like we do so that the American public will not vote McCain into office?” It should be interesting to see how Barack takes that theme and incorporates others as well in his speech 
tonight.
Now, dont get me wrong, I havent just been lauding over the fake “getting along.” There are plenty of other things to note at this convention: 1) all of the hip-hop stars (who probably dont vote themselves, but dont worry about that) expressing themselves at the convention… 2) the CUNTY comments coming out of this convention! From Spike Lee being interviewed about the Black community’s response to the Clintons and starting his response with “Just so you know, this is just my opinion… I am NOT a spokesperson for the Black community.” to James Carville’s response to the rest of the pundits on CNN: “To the behest of you all, I think that the Clintons and the Obamas are going to work very well together, and horror of all horrors, the Clintons may even campaign with the Obamas.” 3) and of course, the significance of Barack being officially nominated by the Democratic Party to be the first Black person to serve as a major party presidential candidate. That cannot be overlooked.
But as much as those other 3 notations are important and interesting, neither of them supplies as many funTy comments in my head as the fake Rodney King friendships. I suppose it’s something they have to do… part of me just wishes someway, somehow, it was actually true.
If you’ve missed any of the speeches so far, here are a few that most people think you probably should see.
“All elements of art fused into one. A night of engaging fashion, art, & Style”
Today makes a special night for a good friend of mine, Ms. Aghogho Sowho! (hence me taking the time away 
from the normal themes of this here blog) At 8pm tonight, she will be doing her first showcase/fashion show at Jin Lounge on 14th St NW. Anyone in the Dc area should come check her out!
On the woman: She’s great! I mean, on a personal note, she’s a renaissance woman and a fellow Bison alum. She can SANG! No, really… this girl can blow. She’s great in 
graphic design. And she’s a cool person. But what she’ll be showing off is her clothing line, SouL BoutiQue: shirts, jackets, dresses, skirts, purses… this girl does it ALL! And they are OH so FLY!!!!
Come check her out guys! And if you cant make it, hit her up on her blog and Myspace website for orders and more information.
SouL BoutiQue is Elements Exposed (the title of the show)! PS: the event is FREE!
SouL BoutiQue…
Aghogho Sowho…
Elements Exposed…OR a forgivable offense?…
Urban Dictionary lists a deal breaker as these things:
1. An issue within a relationship that constitutes one partner breaking up with the other. Note that they do not need to be a “good” reason by society’s standards, but are specific and individual to each relationship.
I can’t believe he broke up with her because she didn’t put out after 10 dates. I guess to him, that was a “deal breaker”.
2. A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.
The deal breaker was that he was married with kids and I don’t condone adultery.
Both of these definitions pretty much go with what I want to talk about today. For me, cheating is a deal breaker. It is that thing that I cannot overlook despite all other great things in a man.
Now, some may say this is unfair. In fact, many of my friends have said so. They say you shouldn’t look at something so black and white; you shouldn’t judge someone on the situation when you haven’t been through it with that specific person yet. Ummmm… okay, yeah I guess so.
To those rebuttals, I give this series of gems from the infamous book that 99.9% of men HATE: He’s Just Not That Into You
There’s never going to be a good excuse for cheating… This is a very complicated subject, I’ll admit. Some will argue, “It’s just sex, what does it matter?” Some will argue that you shouldn’t throw away a meaningful relationship just because of one indiscretion. This all may be true. But this is what I know: Whatever problems you may have been having in your relationship, they didn’t merit him having sex with someone else. Don’t ask what you did wrong. Don’t share the blame. And in case he tells you that it just “happened,” please remember, cheating doesn’t just “happen.” It’s not an accident as in, “Oops, I just slipped and fell into a sexual relationship with someone else.”… Cheating is bad…. If you are in a mutually established monogamous relationship, then when someone cheats on you, they have decided to blatantly disrespect a very important decision you two made together…. Let’s call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.
And that’s pretty much where I stand on it: a betrayal of trust. I do get that there are different types of cheating, even though I contend they can pretty much be put into 3 categories. 1). One sexual indiscretion. 2). Multiple sexual discretions (with the same person or different people) and 3). The dreaded emotional affair.
Please note that I placed these categories in a particular order. Mostly because while I think cheating is a deal breaker, I can see how some folks may be able to handle certain cheating… in that order… Once you get to the affair, however, I just don’t see how you trust that person again. And we all know how I feel about trust.
Really and truly, and maybe I’m just crazy (I’ve been called worse, it’s okay), but even the first one is hard for me to swallow, because even as a one-time event, it manages to place doubts in this man or woman that you didn’t doubt before. And I say that that is the start of the unraveling of your relationship.
Ask Usher… I know folks didn’t really take to Moving Mountains, but the song is sooo REAL!
“But the bad took away the good
She thinks that I’m full of it, arguments, always pissed, man I’m tired
Every kiss that I miss, girl you know I’m trying
You never believe when I say, and I never believe it when you say
I love you, and I shouldn’t complain about it
I should take it like a man and walk up out it
Cause we will never be the same, ooh
I’ve been standing in gas and you have been the flameI know sorries just wouldn’t do it
Her heart is obliterated, I’m trying to get through”
Ashanti takes it even further…
“Everything you did and everything you said,
now I’m standin’ here lookin’ like damn
I thought it was you and I,
now all I gotta say is why”
How do you move on from those feelings? How do you look at that person again in the same way that you once did? Sure you can try. In the Usher song, he talks about how she said they would see it through… but it just didn’t work. And sure, we all know many relatives who have endured cheating and made it to those milestone anniversaries… 25, 50, 60 years.
So I get it… I do. Some people can handle it. One of my aunt’s even told me that it should just be something that you expect at some point from your husband and/or long term boyfriend. Her exact words were something along the lines of, “hey, as long as your uncle knows not to bring anything back to this house… and he’s not crazy… I love him and I’m accustomed to a certain lifestyle.” WHAT?! This cant be what I’m supposed to be looking forward to, right?
Right?
I don’t know… you tell me. Am I being too harsh? Is cheating a deal breaker OR a forgivable offense?
*Note* Yes, I have been cheated on before, so I’m not just speaking hypothetically about these feelings.
Sooooo… It’s official.
Obama chose Joe Biden to be his Vice Presidential running mate… My original reaction was a little something like, “ummmmmmmmm ok.”
Dont get me wrong, I understand why he picked him. I mean, you’d either have to be not very smart or not listen/read any news to not understand why he picked Biden, seeing as though all the pundits have been talking about it ALL this weekend. You know the basic stuff: Biden gives him national security presence. Biden gives him experience. Biden provides that working class white man vote Barack has had a hard time getting.
I get all that, I do. But still, something about the pick was just soooo… uninspiring. Thats not a true knock on Biden, exactly. Because I’m not sure if any of the picks people had been talking about lately would have inspired me… but Biden, specifically, just seemed so contrived. So traditional. Sooooo not about change.
Now, I believe that I’ve noted to you all before that I’m not one of those people ready to crown Barack the next savior, but part of the reason I liked him was that I felt maybe he really believed all the stuff he said. And that meant something to this political cynic. Well, as the race moves along and gets closer to November, I’m seeing Barack move closer and closer to pandering to the traditional than rebelling against it.
I mean, really?! Joe Biden?! How much more traditional could you get?
BUT all that said, I’m still going to vote for them. Which was my second reaction. I know this was something he had to do. Afterall, John Edwards ruined ANY chance he had of being the nominee. Only the craziest Hillary Clinton stan thought she would be the nominee. And logically, the people scared about Barack being about too much change, might be calmed down by a guy who’s been around Washington government for a really really long time. Note the balding white hair, ladies and gentleman.
All in all, Barack took a page out of George Bush’s handbook. He played up the whole, “I want to change how Washington is” thing and then made his VP runningmate someone who IS Washington politics. And thats cool, I guess.
I still hope they win. I’m just not sure if I’ll be jumping up and down if they do…. wait, what am I saying? I’m definitely going to be jumping up and down, doing flips and jumping on trampolines like the “rhythmic gymnasts” at the Olympics, and running around like David Oliver (GO BISON)! But in my heart, I’ll slightly wish just maayyybe it was someone else in that VP slot. (You know, someone who doesnt slip up and give compliments about being articulate… yeah, I still havent forgotten that. “He Speaks SO WELL!”)
Maybe, instead of getting a dozen roses for your birthday/Valentine’s Day/Christmas/random time when your boo thinks he needs to apologize…. you should campaign for these pricey beauties. With an 18 karat gold heel and hand dyed silk petals, I think it’s safe to say you’ll be one of the few people with them… AND hey, on the upside you wont have to worry about them dying in a week!
* And they’re merely $27,945 (LOL)*
Sooooooooooo… yesterday I met my sister and her friends at Target to help them get items for their dorms. But they were late, which meant I had nothing but time on my hands. I was on the phone, but I’m a serial multi-tasker, so I didnt feel quite right about just talking on the phone.
There I was, standing in the lobby of the building which houses Target in the District…. and what is to my left? Payless Shoe Source… Now, before you go judging…. Payless has seriously stepped their game up recently (as well as their prices, but we wont go there right now).
Anyway…. um, so I had lots of time to kill. And I tried to… um… not go in there. But the temptation was too great. 45 minutes later, I came out with 6 pairs of shoes. Please. Dont judge me.
)
(I got these in black though… not white)
(And these are bone, I’m not sure if you can see it in the picture)
